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» June 5, 2024
Not Another Religious Tract Dissection by Boolean Union Studios

 
Cover / Page 1
But Everybody Does It. Tract #283. Art by David w. Daniels - © 2023 Chick Publications

But Everybody Does It - Tract #283 (BEDI)
Art by David W. Daniels - © 2023 Chick Publications


First Published: February 20th, 2024


Don’t follow others to do wrong. Do what Joseph did. (A message for children)


CommentatorsCommentators

Dot

Dot

Mingnon

Mingnon

Matt

Matt

David

David

 
Page Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

o Introduction collapse_button

DotDot Well well well, here we are again, back in the post-Chick version of Chickland. This is David W. Daniels’ third - and at the time of writing, most recent - attempt to demonstrate why he was the man God had hand picked to carry on the legacy of Jack Chick and Fred Carter. Is the third time the charm for Daniels? We've assembled a crack team of dissectors to answer that question.
   
DavidDavid “Attempt” being the key term here. As a wise woman once said, “It’s always worse than you remember.
   
MattMatt That depends on the amount of insanity we’ll be dealing with - garden variety or unbelievable.
   
MingnonMingnon I’ll place my bets on garden variety. This guy isn’t really that out there as we’ll see.

 

o Cover / Page 1 collapse_button

Cover / Page 1
Photo References: [A]
 
MattMatt All I can say here is that is one ugly kid.
   
DotDot I imagine that’s a bit of an insult to the kid in whatever photograph Daniels traced to create this.
   
DavidDavid The front page of DeviantArt has a higher standard of quality than this.
   
MingnonMingnon What face is he supposed to be having here? Suspicion? Sneakiness? Dull Surprise?

Also the face looks ten times older than it should be once it was traced over. Yikes.

 

o Page 2 collapse_button

Page 2
Photo References: [B], [C], [D]
 
MattMatt Maybe this will turn out like this and they’ll all die horrible, goofy deaths.
   
DavidDavid Well, Matt, I’m not surprised – everyone looks ugly here.
   
DotDot Oh that immediately brings back some traumatizing Safety Video memories. At the very least, they only promise that horrid things will happen to you on THIS side of the mortal plane.
   
MingnonMingnon Also, it looks like David hates training wheels. REAL adult children risk falling over!

 

o Page 3 collapse_button

Page 3
 
DavidDavid What, beyond the white void of existential despair? I wouldn’t count on it…
   
MattMatt Chicken, Ryan, you’re just a little chicken.  Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep, chee-eep!
   
DotDot Daniels is just setting himself up for the inevitable mockery now by just pasting in the MST3K silhouettes himself. (That or he couldn’t find any stock photos of the kids with their backs to the camera and he has to improvise).

 

o Page 4 collapse_button

Page 4
Photo References: [E]
 
DotDot I envision this panel as having the four kids each sliding into the panel like it was a powerpoint presentation or an early 2000s Flash cartoon.
   
MattMatt So is this what the Trick ‘r Treat kids did before their bus drove into the quarry.
   
DavidDavid How many times can I talk about the art style before I resemble a YouTuber reviewing Angela Anaconda?
   
MingnonMingnon The big kid looks like the most obvious trace-over of a stock photo out of the four kids. Lily looks kind of cringe-worthy, as if Daniels feels he needs to add so many creases otherwise the viewer wouldn’t notice that she’s asian.

Not to mention that the other three kids seem to all share a hive-mind, which isn’t creepy at all.

 

o Page 5 collapse_button

Page 5
Photo References: [F]
 
MattMatt “Come on, guys! Into the void!”
   
DavidDavid Into a void where the dynamics of reality no longer exist. Oh wait, that’s the M.O. of a Chick tract.

 

o Page 6 collapse_button

Page 6
Photo References: [A]
 
DotDot *sigh* Given that Chick and Carter would almost always draw a unique picture for the front page, it seems ESPECIALLY lazy that now we have Daniels just flipping this random pic for the front page, and in turn, just tracing THAT from a stock photo.
   
DavidDavid Not that the target audience would even notice or care.

 

o Page 7 collapse_button

Page 7
 
MattMatt “Damn it, is everyone cutting through my field again?”
   
DavidDavid When just fixing the fence isn’t a viable solution, siccing your pit bull on the neighborhood kids works just fine!
   
MingnonMingnon That’s more of a Rottweiler, but I’m just being pedantic.
   
DotDot I'm trying my absolute best to get used to it, but nope, it's not going to stop being weird seeing Fang and Goldie turning up in stuff Chick didn't draw.

 

o Page 8 collapse_button

Page 8
 
MattMatt Gunther’s back and this time, he’s pissed!
   
MingnonMingnon Is that dog a 3D model!?
   
DotDot You give Daniels too much credit. If he's not gonna bother actually drawing anything himself, do you REALLY think he's gonna bother his arse off learning how to pose 3D models he can steal from?
   
DavidDavid And how come none of the kids heard the running and barking of an angry dog? Even kindergartners understand that as a cue to take their leave.

 

o Page 9 collapse_button

Page 9
Photo References: [3], [G]
 
MattMatt The flying kid looks like gravity just suddenly shut off.
   
DotDot Or that he's stunt jumping over the dog. I'm starting to think that action flow might not be DWD’s speciality.
   
DavidDavid Or regular flow, judging by the bargain-bin water effects.
   
MingnonMingnon Okay I am sure that’s the wrong breed this time, or at least the wrong coat coloring on the left. Also he’s sure taking his sweet time getting after the kids. At least the Beast from The Sandlot got more involved, and caused a lot of ruckus too.

 

o Page 10 collapse_button

Page 10
Photo References: [H], [I]
 
DavidDavid In a world where nobody has ever heard of a leash or a dog collar…
   
MattMatt "Gunther! Stop! That kid’s too gangly and scrawny, no good for eating!”
   
MingnonMingnon Even with the actual stock photo this one still looks like a 3D model. There’s lazy tracing, but this is a whole other level.
   
DotDot Honestly it’s more than just the lazy tracing that’s bringing the side down here. It took me like two or three goings over this page to even register that the kid was meant to be in peril from the approaching dog (It’s fine though, Mr. Henderson has kept it at bay with a good ZA WARUDO). Nothing about this entire sequence of panels over multiple pages gives a decent impression of events following on from each other or approaching each other at high speed.

 

o Page 11 collapse_button

Page 11
Photo References: [J]
 
DotDot You just know that if Chick wrote this, the dog would have already mauled one of these wee fuckers to pieces by now. Might have even been “treated” to a wee cutaway of them roasting in hell. Kind of weird how much more chill Daniels’s solo tracts are, especially given that all other evidence points to him being just as off-the-rails as Jack was.
   
MattMatt Is it me or does that guy look like a gray Bill Clinton?
   
MingnonMingnon I’m sure the dog wouldn’t just sit and ‘smile’. He’d still be growling while trying to restrain himself, at least according to my experience around everyday, household dogs.
   
DavidDavid Here it comes, the tedious moralizing! It is nicely paired with a glass of dodgy theology.

 

o Page 12 collapse_button

Page 12
Photo References: [K]
 
DotDot You know what else it could have hurt? Your freaking dog who you just let stampede through the whole yard.
   
MattMatt Geez, guy, you leave those around your field? What else you got lying around? Landmines?
   
MingnonMingnon I’m sure the conspicuously obedient dog would be the least of a trespasser’s worries. You should have put up a sign reading “Warning: Sharp Objects! You may get Tetanus!”
   
DavidDavid Or better yet, proper lawn maintenance! Jesus Fucking Christ…
   
DotDot Learn to be a professional artist RIGHT NOW with David Daniels’s Pro Drawing Tips. Need a picture of a board with nails sticking out? Just google “board with nails sticking out” and you’re sorted. To make it less obvious that you’ve done that though, just click the third one. That’s what Daniels did.
   
MingnonMingnon “Can I copy your homework?” “Sure, just don’t make it look obvious you copied it.”

 

o Page 13 collapse_button

Page 13
Photo References: [L]
 
MattMatt And now Ryan’s a toddler.
   
DavidDavid If you’ll excuse me, everyone, I’m going to seek a low-ambition Disney cartoon in search of more coherent morality plays.
   
MingnonMingnon This is turning out to be a very roundabout way of pulling out the old parental chestnut, ‘If your friends decided to jump off a bridge’. If you really wanted to catch kids’ attention quickly, why not start with ‘If your friends wanted to eat Tide Pods’, or ‘If your friends decided to snort cinnamon’. Much snappier and with the times!

 

o Page 14 collapse_button

Page 14
Photo References: [M]
 
DotDot And here it is, the shocking plot twist. You think you know your Chick tract tropes, and how the warning sign in the yard is like the warning God gave Adam and Eve not to eat from the forbidden tree, but SURPRISE, we’re talking about Joseph of Arimathea and how he…didn’t cave to peer pressure.
   
MattMatt “He didn’t do anything to stop them but he didn’t help them!”
   
MingnonMingnon If you think about it, it’s basically the sum of all Christian advice: Do absolutely nothing in any and all situations and conflicts! The world needs more thoughts and prayers, dammit!
   
DotDot Oh, and now we’re copying “art” from Mel Gibson. This does not bode well.
   
DavidDavid Why am I not surprised?

 

o Page 15 collapse_button

Page 15
Photo References: [N], [O]
 
MattMatt “Grr! Jesus bad! Grr!”
   
MingnonMingnon “They framed, arrested and then tortured and killed an innocent man? That’s so amazing!”
   
DavidDavid Might as well have that Pharisee lean in, shake his fist, and exit offstage.
   
DotDot Okay so here’s the thing. I’m a simple girl with a weird thing for watching way too much weird religious media, so when I see a panel like the one on the left here I’m like “Hey have I seen these guys before?” And the answer is yes. Mister Christ on the left is traced directly from Fred Carter’s art from Light of the World, while the priest is traced from a promo image from Passion of the Christ.

 

o Page 16 collapse_button

Page 16
Photo References: [P]
 
DotDot Ah yes, the secret lost Commandment: "Thou shalt not cheat at school."
   
MattMatt On a related note, “What’s Thanksgiving?” And “Who’s Jesus?” And “What’s a soul?
   
MingnonMingnon That lady has the weirdest face, even for a surprised one.
   
DotDot Oh, it’s a weird face all right, and you know what’s sad? Daniels didn’t even draw it. This is literally just traced from Carter’s Light Of The World art.
   
DavidDavid Honestly, my guess would’ve come from… a less religious source, to put it gently.
   
MingnonMingnon And I wouldn’t blame you.

 

o Page 17 collapse_button

Page 17
Photo References: [Q]
 
MattMatt You call this a crucifixion scene?  Where’s the blood and gore?  Where’s Jesus getting the ever loving shit kicked out of him?
   
MingnonMingnon If you look carefully you can see a few drops of blood falling from him, so it still counts!
   
DotDot If you ask me, the lack of gore is the least of the problems here. We’re looking down on the cross from an isometric angle, but we still have a very clear horizon, with the priest somehow towering over the guards facing him. The only way my brain can make sense of this scene is if we’re looking up, Jesus has been jammed horizontally into the side of a cliff, the priest is gloating and standing on top of the guards who are lying down at the edge, and the Roman soldier is somehow just standing sideways.
   
DavidDavid John 3:16? Well gee, never heard that one before…

 

o Page 18 collapse_button

Page 18
Photo References: [R], [S]
 
DotDot I’ve called out Fred Carter before for overly drawing from popular movies in his own work, but we can’t even give Daniels THAT much credit here. This is flat out a traced image of David Bowie as Pontius Pilate in The Last Temptation of Christ. As for Joseph, that’s James Mason in the 70s miniseries Jesus Of Nazareth.
   
DavidDavid It’d be more creative to use them to reenact scenes from Spy x Family.
   
MattMatt “Please let me have Jesus’ body. I’ll be your friend!”
   
MingnonMingnon This is actually the first I’ve read of someone already having a ready-made tomb for themselves in ancient times (that wasn’t Egyptian). What did they need it for? Just in case someone simply decided to retire from life? Awfully contrived and convenient if that was the place Jesus was going to resurrect at.

 

o Page 19 collapse_button

Page 19
Photo References: [T], [U]
 
DotDot Once again, Daniels is just tracing Light Of The World art, because all he can do to even PRETEND to live up to his predecessors is trace paintings by a dead man.
   
MingnonMingnon God raised his son Jesus from the dead, and there was a massive nuclear explosion!
   
MattMatt “Come live with us, Ryan. Forever…and ever…and ever.”
   
DavidDavid If only to piss off Daniels by proxy, here’s my reference to The Shining.

 

o Page 20 collapse_button

Page 20
Photo References: [V], [W]
 
DotDot It’s difficult to find anything new to say about these straight evangelism scenes. Daniels doesn’t really bring anything new to the table except for making it look comically easy. Like, these four kids immediately convert to Christianity at the story of a side character so inconsequential that most passion stories don’t even remember he exists.
   
DavidDavid And as per Chick tract tradition, precisely all of these kids have had their minds blown by this rehashing of the basic.
   
MattMatt Chick on his worst day could draw better than this!
   
MingnonMingnon The big kid has been copy-pasted but now has a badly-drawn arm for a thumbs-up. Classy.

 

o Page 21 collapse_button

Page 21
Photo References: [X], [Y], [Z], [1]
 
MattMatt If I did something wrong and the guy let me off with a warning, there’s no way in Hell I’d tell my mom about it.
   
DavidDavid Yeah, was that supposed to be a joke?
   
MingnonMingnon Ryan has now joined the creepy bike-riding children’s hive mind.
   
DotDot And so, unable to ride in any other direction because David Daniels couldn’t find the appropriate stock images, Lily and the unnamed black kid found themselves in an inevitable head-on collision and died.

 

o Page 22 collapse_button

Page 22
Photo References: [2]
 
DotDot These checkboxes are going to come back and haunt us so hard on the day of Judgement. God’s not gonna even need the book of life. He’ll just be like:

“OPEN TO THE BACK OF BUT EVERYONE DOES IT.”

“She ticked the No boxes, Lord.”

“GET REKT YE CURSED.”
   
MingnonMingnon There needs to be a questionnaire kind of like the one that gets slapped onto every Chick Tract, likely about how terrible this whole thing is and how much the reader would want to vent.
   
MattMatt I’m just glad I got through this tract without making uncomfortable jokes about the kids and their helmets.
   
DavidDavid If it’s any consolation, Matt, I was thinking of such jokes too. Much to my shame…

 

o Conclusion collapse_button

MattMatt Good lord, this was just plain dull. Are they even trying anymore?
   
DavidDavid Here’s a more important question: have they given up even the pretenses of self-awareness?
   
MingnonMingnon I agree. Chick and Carter will be sorely missed. As harmful as they were to anyone in contact with the tracts (regardless of effectiveness), at least they brought art and storylines that actually had something to at least think about… long enough to then proceed to take apart and mock.
   
DotDot It's honestly shocking how much nothing there is in Daniels’ tracts. If you take the time to look at his YouTube uploads, he's happy enough to go around saying stuff just as wild as Chick ever did, but his actual tract output is so utterly middle-of-the-road compared to Chick's output that it just comes off as incoherent mumblings instead of the doomsday ravings of a mad prophet.

Oh, and if anyone out there hasn't already done so, I heartily encourage you to give some of the pictures a quick mouseover, just to see the full extent of DWD’s refusal to ever actually draw anything ever.

Jessica and I have managed to uncover quite a lot of the stock photos that Daniels has traced to cobble this mess of a tract together, but there's still a few gaps for us still to find, so now I would like to address you, the reader. If you happen to be able to identify any of the stock images DWD used in the tract, we would love for you to let us know. Come swing by the discord with your findings and with your help we can do a complete “live action remake” of sorts.
   
DavidDavid It’ll be a more inspired live-action remake than The Lion King

 

o Further Reading collapse_button


 

o References collapse_button