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  The Missing Day. Tract #188 (TMDY). Art by Jack Chick - © 2005 Chick Publications

The Missing Day - Tract #188 (TMDY)
Art by Jack Chick - © 2005 Chick Publications

First Published: November 18th, 2023

The nation that stops being thankful and forgets God is heading for judgment.

 

Introduction ⇑ ⇓

Jessica	It's that time of year again… when Americans get into the spirit of the Autumn holiday season in the frenzied lead up to Christmas. In this country, this generally takes the form of people proceeding to stuff themselves to bursting with fat and carbohydrate laden foods in celebration of the genocide of the Native American people, and then proceed to trample one another to death in a virtual blood orgy in honor of Mammon, God of Capitalism. In realizing that by virtue of growing up in this proto-Theocratic hellscape, my own opinions on the subject were somewhat biased, I thought it best to call in the help of some of my associates whose views would hopefully not be quite so skewed. After all, what could be more enlightening (and potentially amusing) than bringing in a couple of non-Americans to give an objective take on one of the more quintessential, “All American” holidays and all of the absurdity that it entails?
Anna	As will become readily apparent during the course of the dissection, this is a new experience both in terms of tract being dissected (personally, as I am not a resident of the United States) and also a new topic (that being a US-centric holiday). I am not familiar with Thanksgiving beyond the most rudimentary aspects of it and the fact that it has potentially Christian roots. But I am curious as to how Jack Chick presents this holiday and tries to frame it within his set of beliefs, especially since he handled Halloween so well, and included all the factual evidence about how it is practiced without any bias or subjective statements.
	Hello, and a pleasure to be joining you on this one. As a resident of the land of haggis, bagpipes and free eye tests, Thanksgiving is obviously a foreign concept to myself and all. We HAVE had its immediate hyper capitalist follow-up, Black Friday, foisted on us HARD in recent years though, and naturally, with the sheer amount of American TV shows we’ve had exported to us, we’ve probably absorbed a fair chunk of Thanksgiving nonsense just from sheer pop culture osmosis. Honestly, with the amount we have to deal with your stuff, the least you could do in return is unban haggis. It’s delicious, I PROMISE you. But anyways, the tract then. I might not know much about this particular holiday, but if Jack Chick’s other tract about early American settler history is anything to go by, I’m SURE that what we’ll be getting from him here will be even-handed, informed, and completely true to history.

 

Cover / Page 1 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	Given the topic of the tract, is this perhaps meant to paint a picture that people are like turkeys because they do not know about a supposed missing day and its importance? Pardon my ignorance for not knowing about a holiday that is quite specific to the United States, but to be a tad unkind, considering what the holiday represents (and by extension, what Chick may present it as), perhaps the saying ‘ignorance is bliss’ is relevant here.
	You would think the Turkey would be somewhat relieved at Thanksgiving having gone missing, but let’s be honest, they’re just gonna be a Christmas Turkey instead. That’s barely an extra month’s reprieve.
Anna	Just means extra time to ruminate on the choices that led them to this fate. Assuming you are of course, speaking about people instead of the birds.
Jessica	That turkey knows it is well and truly fucked. Reminds me a bit of that poor rooster from way back in Evil Eyes. Also, did you guys know that each year, the President actually goes through the motions of pardoning a turkey? Quite ironic when you consider what an absolute hard-on America has for Capital Punishment in general. At least a single turkey has a chance of getting off the hook. Countless African Americans? Not so much…
Dot	I’ve seen some articles about Turkey Pardonings before, aye. In the context of… *gestures at the entire US prison system* it’s absolutely obscene.

 

Page 2 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	I was wondering what was going on with that “blood sugar” thing for a moment. Juxtaposed with the complaints about hating Lucy’s cooking and missing the football, it kind of comes across as Old Man Chick being all “Kids these days always complaining about their sportsballs and their chronic health conditions.” Then I remembered that Jack Chick was diabetic himself, so I THINK this is just him trying to make the scene come off more chaotic and only accidentally coming off as an arsehole for once. We’re still only on the first page though. PLENTY of time for him to be an arsehole on purpose.
Anna	I am glad you are more optimistic than I am. From what the voices are telling me, it seems that they chose to draw a child who has Type 1 diabetes and framed the scene in such a way that the child speaking up about their low blood sugar is viewed as a non-serious complaint akin to missing the football or hating someones cooking. So to me, he is coming off as someone that should take a long walk of a short pier.
Jessica	I do think it was meant to show that all of these people are selfish and self-centered, which I think is foreshadowing for the main point of the comic. However, a child just acknowledging that they're in danger of falling into a diabetic coma is hardly on par with missing a sporting event.
Anna	Also, are you talking about football (and which some people call soccer) or football (the American version that has to compete with rugby). Do not forget about the Australian and Gaelic versions also. And I respectfully disagree with Biden when he said that rugby is safer than American football.

 

Page 3 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	Ahh, the Chaotic Crowd Shot. A Jack Chick classic. It kind of feels like he hasn’t really got it in him any more though. In early Chick almost EVERYONE would be openly yelling something sinful, satanic, or gay. Here the only real “Oh these guys are BAD SIN DOERS” lines are Nuke ‘Em guy being a dick and the kid selling drugs. I GUESS we could count the two guys making eyes at each other at the bottom of the panel but there’s nothing until later on to indicate that they’re meant to be a couple and without THAT context it just looks like they’re making faces independently. Even the guy with the tattoo seems to be half-assing his Satanic Edginess a bit. Only two sixes? That’s less the Number of the Beast and more The Number of the Road Trip.
Anna	I suppose the devil tattoo on his arm is meant to fill the void left by the missing six. My concern is more with what is not being said (minus the ‘hic’ sound thought bubble that is). Maybe we ought to look at some of them. We have the thought bubble ‘hic’ lady who is two-for-one as she also has no eyes, that guy in the bottom left whose gum movements remind me of a quite delightful hex I put on someone one time where they were silenced and tried to talk and three people on the right hand side with big smiles, two of which bear a striking resemble to risus sardonicus. Maybe Lucy should consider adding a ‘special’ ingredient to her Thanksgiving dinner. It will definitely have everyone smiling and not complaining about her cooking…
Jessica	PCP and crack? I must be going to the wrong Thanksgiving parties. That sounds a hell of a lot more enticing than the typical Thanksgiving fare.

 

Page 4 ⇑ ⇓

Jessica	I know that this probably goes without saying, but over here you start seeing Thanksgiving ads in circulars and accouterments for sale in stores in fucking September. When I was in Kindergarten, we made Pilgrim hats out of construction paper as an actual school assignment. The holiday is always invariably referred to as "Thanksgiving". The idea that anybody wouldn't know what it's actually called is just absolutely preposterous.
Dot	Okay let's see if I'm clear on this. So on Thanksgiving…. you have a Thanksgiving Turkey for dinner…and on Turkey Day….you have a Thanksgiving Turkey for dinner? Am I to understand that there is some kind of connection between these two festivities? Shock! Gasp, even!
Jessica	In practice, you have a Thanksgiving turkey for dinner on actual Thanksgiving (“Turkey Day”) and then eat the god-forsaken leftovers all the way up until Christmas. It's actually hard to find a frozen turkey for sale in most places that's less than 25 pounds (11.34 kg). So if you're unlucky enough to not have any friends or family, you're eating turkey and cranberry sandwiches all the way up until the following Thanksgiving. Either that, or you just go out and get Chinese food instead.
Anna	Pardon my lack of knowledge, but the holiday itself is meant to be about giving thanks for the blessings of the harvest throughout the year up to that point right? Halloween itself was intended to appease certain spirits and bless the harvest for the year, but I guess because this one has deeper ties to Protestantism and the Pilgrims, this holiday involving turkey is fine. As to the two children, (possibly teenagers) planning to feed their relatives’ pet fish to Fang, that is not going to be enough to feed Fang if he is drooling. The poor dog must be starving. How about you both also offer him your dominant hands to eat after you feed him that fish? No? Are you perhaps afraid to learn that actions have consequences and that you should not do things like that? And yes, I am aware it is extreme. But so is Chick’s depictions of non-believers being terrible people, especially when you can have religious tyrants hiding behind masks of righteousness.

 

Page 5 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	Wow. Can't believe you can't say Thanksgiving any more. I guess that's why no TV show has EVER had a Thanksgiving special ever.
Anna	So interesting thing with them calling him ‘Mort’ for short. Aside from the English definition of ‘mort’, which I’m hearing the sound of in my mind as he prepares to tell his tale (if you take the family members as hunted animals), the word itself also translates from French (a language I would love to be fluent in) as ‘dead’, which could mean that the family is at the risk of dying by the end of the tract or are in fact, already dead. I do not believe Chick was thinking this route when writing this, but it is nevertheless a better take than what might happen further down the tract. If what I said is true that they are all dead or that they all die at the end, then I look forward to seeing your spirits soon...
Jessica	What does Mort having money have to do with anything? You think if you listen to him drone on about something you all already know, he's going to give some of it to you? I just, I don't even…
Dot	Truly, this man was The Good Morty (PDF) all along.

 

Page 6 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	You just know a story is going to have some Bad Stuff going down when it begins “It all started in England…”
Anna	Where there are child-sized ibis apparently. Best hope it does not have the bravado of swans and geese, else that child might lose an eye. Also, I am feeling a tad spiteful, so I will point out that a pilgrim is not the same as the Pilgrims being referred to here. The ones being referred to here were originally part of the Puritans who fled England and settled in Holland, but because of differences in beliefs, were then labeled as ‘separatists’ by other Puritans and thus decided to go to America. Try to not distort the truth, Chick. It does not put you in a favourable light (granted, works like Wounded Children already do that, but for the sake of discussion).
Jessica	"They went to Holland to catch a boat to America…" …because they were fleeing religious persecution from assholes like you. Four hundred years later and you still can't quite seem to grasp the irony of that situation, huh?

 

Page 7 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	Apparently it was not in fact an “unspeakable nightmare”. After all, someone had to speak about it for you to be able to recall it here for us right?
Jessica	Compared to the slave ships they'll be running out of the place in about a century or so, the Mayflower was the friggin' QE2. Quit yer' bitchin' you absolute pansies.
Dot	Is the “Something” supposed to be the locals that they run into months later? Because that is both nonsensical and *yikes* on so many levels.
Anna	Maybe it was a bunch of animals watching. And in an act of kindness, they decided that the people on the ship had suffered enough and did not immediately attack them off the boat. I believe that the animals were off their ‘player versus environment’ game that day. And speaking of that, people are welcome to try that in the area near my abode. Unlike these animals, the ones around me do not have kindness and will attack you immediately.

 

Page 8 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	Oh, so God let them find the corn. That sure is an interesting way of putting "And then they found a corn field and nicked all the corn from the people who planted the corn". Like, sure, in a life or death situation sometimes you gotta steal some food but this still fully has the vibes of "and then they fucked up some indigenous people's harvest. Hooray for God." Is this actually part of the Official Thanksgiving Lore? Cuz it's kinda bold leaving that in there.
Jessica	I certainly don't remember that part of the story from my youth. They tend to focus more on how the Pilgrims and the "Indians" all sat down and ate a huge feast in harmony together after the winter blew over. Although, I don't believe that the animosity between the natives and what amounted to an invading force is entirely glossed over if one is inspired to go looking for it. Not that many Americans are so inclined.
Anna	I guess I have to retract my earlier statement. Apparently the animals were letting them out of the ship so that they could watch them freeze to death. How adorable. Normally the ones that live near my residence tend to go straight for the kill, but perhaps I ought to see if they can learn sadism as well. After all, in harsh winters, slowly picking away at your food and making sure you have sufficient quantity is better than eating it all in one big feast.

 

Page 9 ⇑ ⇓

Jessica	You left civilization for an untamed wilderness because you wanted to "tame the savages" so to speak, and because you could dish out the religious persecution to others, but couldn't really take it when you were the ones on the receiving end. This might seem a tad harsh… but what did you expect? Houses and restaurants?
Anna	I have also had an experience where someone stepping out from behind some trees resulted in a reaction from me. Though it was not shock, but slight joy. After all, it is nice every once in a while when company comes around to visit. If I am in an ‘entertaining’ mood, I show them my trophy collection of various adventuring types wanting to try and steal some of my relics. Suffice to say, they love my collection so much, they wind up laughing and dancing. But sadly, all things come to an end, and I am soon left to solitude with the spirits once more.
Dot	I see the SomeTHING behind the trees has levelled up into being a someONE behind the trees. Is the implication REALLY supposed to be that the natives were Hiding Just Out Of Sight Watching this whole time?

 

Page 10 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	Okay, come on, Jack. Without doing ANY research whatsoever, I'm STILL going to guess it's a fair bet that this isn't the first English speaking people that Squanto has ever bumped into. Europe has known that America is there for AGES at this point, and I can only assume had done PLENTY to mess things up for the people that lived there already. Maybe Squanto and his friends are operating on the principle of "teach a man to fish, and he'll leave your fucking corn alone."
Jessica	Squanto's chiseled appearance here notwithstanding, he looks like something that should be stationed outside a store holding a fistful of cigars. Also, you want to know why a Native American already knew how to speak "perfect English" before you guys showed up? The reason isn't quite as rosy or provident as you would like to believe.
Anna	I thought the practice was to honor and praise God each day for letting you live, irrespective if a sheer coincidence happened or not. And speaking of coincidences, your guess may have a bearing of truth to it. After all, there was in fact, a Thanksgiving celebration that occurred before this one in 1619.
Dot	Oh my god the more I look at this the worse it gets. So am I reading the implications right? That out of everyone on the Mayflower, there were apparently zero people that knew anything about fishing or agriculture and had to be taught? No wonder they spent months getting owned by the elements.
Anna	I guess they were working on the notion that they would be ‘divinely inspired’ and become masters of agriculture and fishing if they were faithful enough by God’s will. My one question is what would happen if God decided to do a revisit of what happened to Job and put them through the grinder to see if they still had faith?
Dot	At the beginning of the story Chick suggests that the pilgrims went off to America specifically so they could preach to whoever they ran into, hence “worship God and reach the lost.” It’s not an unreasonable reading of the story, at least the way Chick tells it, to suggest that in fact it was the pilgrims that had much to learn from the people they met, rather than them having anything worthwhile to share themselves. (which I must note they never do. Thank fuck TBH I think I would just fully Become The Joker if he went and added a panel of Squanto assuming the position and reciting the Sinner’s Prayer).
Jessica	Now that you point it out, I think a bunch of people doing something unbelievably stupid while attempting to exert their will on others, and then proceeding to learn absolutely nothing from those same people is about the most “American” thing ever, really. Being smugly self-assured in one's own superiority and authority is right up there with Baseball and apple pie.

 

Page 11 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	Welp, hope you enjoyed the story of Thanksgiving, because we’re not even at the halfway point yet and that’s it done. Nice job failing to fill even half a tract with your own version of the Thanksgiving story Jack. But hey. Good on the Native Americans saving the Pilgrim’s necks and I’m SURE that after that God made sure nothing bad happened to them. Right? Right?
Anna	Might be my inner cynic talking, but this could just as easily be interpreted as the Native Americans had believed in the inherent kindness within humans and decided to help their fellow man. And history tells me that a large factor in their decline was attributable to new diseases brought from Europe by the settlers. I will remember that as a gesture of repaying kindness shown to me - by bringing a pestilence that kills them. As for the second guy, of all the things you could have said, like liberty, freedom of speech and civil rights, you went with beer, apple pie and your mother… to each their own I suppose, but let me know how those work out for you the moment you get a taste of true persecution and actual troubles, not something like “Oh no, I’m going to miss the football.”
Jessica	Well shit. He went ahead and said the thing for me. I'm typically the one to uncharitably refer to your average American as an overweight, beer-swilling moron. But here, Jack just straight up does it for me. I can't even caricature these carpet stains properly… they do it to themselves. Also, I believe that his wife there is wearing a crucifix around her neck. Not just a cross necklace mind you, but specifically a crucifix. That must mean she's one of those feeeelthy Catholics. Chick just couldn't help but beat this one dead horse into a fine pulp, now could he?

 

Page 12 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	*mad/pained laughter* So many voices… my mind is filled with laughter…*breathes deeply* I better say what I need to before I start laughing. You are not being serious right now? You are wanting to say that Thanksgiving is the most honored day for Christians? What about the day Jesus was born, the day of His crucifxion, the day of His resurrection and the day of His ascension to Heaven? All of those are less important than Thanksgiving somehow? And any nation, Mortimer? Careful, as I might be inclined to interpret that as saying that since you are in a nation in which not all residents believe in God (US), even if you yourself do believe in God, you should be thrown into Hell as “the nation” as a whole has forgotten God, as per Psalms 9:17.
Jessica	I believe old Mort here may be implying that Thanksgiving used to be American's most honored day, rather than Christian's. But even that isn't true. We have Independence Day and Columbus Day and Memorial Day and Labor Day and a whole host of others. Thanksgiving is hardly special in that regard.
Dot	The painting in the background was looking pretty bummed out earlier on page 3, but now that Uncle Mortimer is on his bullshit it's switched fully over to Ancestral Sickos mode.
Jessica	Better make that “Leering, Date Rape Ancestors” actually. That's some straight-up Haunted Mansion level shit going on right there.

 

Page 13 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	Let us have a spree shall we? I will go clockwise in each panel: To the lady with the glasses, you were the one on Page 5 and Page 6 saying how they would love to hear the story. You knew this was the outcome of him telling the story. Do not fault him for your mistake. To the weird lady on the right, you should be saying shame to the first lady. The small child makes a fair point if they are not believers, and the lady at the bottom right also makes a fair point if you consider the commercialisation and corruption that exists in Christianity where they are hypocrites and hide behind masks of virtue to justify their hatred). As for the two men on the right, do not be surprised if he proceeds to quote Romans 3:10 at you. Oh speak of the devil - he says it but at least it is not quoted directly. To the guy in the second panel with the cylinder neck, kindly stop being a nameist. For the record, I hate your name, whatever it is. To the guy at the left hand side holding a turkey leg, normally, when people are too mad to eat, they are not holding food in their hands and that close to their mouth. Just a thought if you want to be taken seriously.
Dot	I was about to ask if anyone in the history of ever has actually declared "God Is Dead" in a way that's not either making a point about humanity "outgrowing" notions of faith or being an edgy wee shit (I mean, Chick DOES know that when people say they want to Attack And Dethrone God, we're not ACTUALLY building an army to storm the gates of heaven or anything… not one that he needs to know about, for now anyway), but then that led to me reading that "Death of God theology" is an actual thing that people have a variety of takes on. Looks like I've got another rabbit hole to explore. I wonder what Chick would have been like if he actually had the curiosity to examine the implications of the things his imaginary straw atheists said.
Anna	I must thank you, Dot, for also giving me that rabbit hole of theology as well. Perhaps we can share notes on what our journeys into that topic uncover?
Jessica	Thirded. I was familiar with the idea but was unaware that there was an entire school of thought on the subject. I thought myself rather knowledgeable about such things, but you've given me some reading to do now.

 

Page 14 ⇑ ⇓

Jessica	Jesus is the one who forces every breath in and out of your lungs with his own two hands!!! Do these people even listen to themselves?
Anna	Considering Page 12 where he implies Thanksgiving is a more important day than several important Christian days related to the life of Jesus, I doubt they do. Oh and do not think I do not see your attempt to get back into God’s Grace by saying all this praise after you decided to insult God/Jesus by saying that Him dying for the salvation of mankind is less important than Thanksgiving. As much as you want to pretend you are praising God, to me, this comes off as insincere.
Dot	Can we just take a moment to appreciate the background reactions here? That expression by Bald Earrings Man has some pretty huge Goldeneye Box Art Bond Mouth energy.

 

Page 15 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	Chick must have SO many Jesus Being Tortured drawings in his portfolio by now, both by himself and Carter, and yet he just keeps drawing new ones and they just look worse every time.
Jessica	Yeah, he's been drawn as everything from just "slightly roughed up" like he is here, to being almost completely reduced to hamburger meat in others. I think the general gore level of these tends to fluctuate based on the age of the target audience of the tract. Really shows that Chick and Co. can be mindful of the more problematic and tasteless facets of their ideology when they know it will hurt their cause rather than help it.
Anna	To critique humanity if I may, one does not have to be omnipotent or the son of God to possibly experience torture, betrayal and other such things. Humans are plenty capable of doing it to each other. I get the intention of the gesture, that an almighty God would humble themselves to the level of their creation (by Christian teaching). But you may want to look in the mirror there, Mort. You and others like you, who assert themselves as having a supposed ‘superiority’ to others, who profess to believe in God, but are just as guilty of committing your own heinous acts to others throughout your history and into modern times.
Jessica	Not to "victim blame" here… but Jesus kind of brought this on himself. Even if you can get past the fact that he knew what was going to happen if he kept sticking his thumb in Rome's eye, God made humans with both the capacity and propensity to sin. Then, he deliberately crafted the system required for absolution the way he did. Acting all put upon that you had to be tortured and executed to redeem humanity is kind of a punk move when you're the one who made up those rules in the first place. Plus, when a normal person dies, that's it… Game Over. You, on the other hand, had a shitty weekend and then got to rule in Heaven for all eternity afterwards, being adulated and praised by all your little automatons for the rest of time. It wasn't exactly all that enormous of a sacrifice for you, now was it?

 

Page 16 ⇑ ⇓

Jessica	Oh, yeah. I'm sure it was the question "What did Jesus do?" that caused the uncomfortable, silverware dropping silence at the table and not the "All these filthy donut-punching sodomites are going straight to Hell" line that did it. Protip: This is a completely valid response when an annoying relative pulls this kind of annoying shit at a holiday gathering. Play dumb and make them explain their insulting/bigoted remarks in detail. It makes them look like an even bigger idiot in front of everyone.
Anna	Why are you repeating yourself? You just explained in the previous page what God/Jesus did to save mankind. Did you forget your own storyboard for a moment? Perhaps that explains why the dialogue makes no sense. Or is this perhaps a glimpse into your inner thoughts that you think your audience are unable to remember the story from 5 seconds ago? I could certainly use a bunch of thralls for ‘research purposes’ after all.
Dot	At this point I’m genuinely convinced that Chick’s original draft ran short and he had to pad it out SOMEHOW. You could cut this entire page and absolutely nothing would be lost. The fact that Mort has apparently paused for dramatic effect and the narration of this page doesn’t actually add anything to the narrative would almost be a sign of self-awareness, if Jack was ever capable of such a thing.

 

Page 17 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	They were not partying when Jesus died - matter of fact, they were likely saddened by the whole thing, as Satan had tried numerous times to get Jesus to show that he was divine with gestures such as ordering stones into bread during his fast on the mountain, saying if he were to jump off a cliff that angels would save Him, as well as potentially influencing the people at his crucifixion to mock him to save himself. As for why Satan did this, he knew full well who Jesus was and wanted him to fail as a savior by making him use/show his divinity.
Dot	Yeah, literally every Jesus Film I’ve seen, if Satan shows up for the crucifixion at all, he knows fine well how it’s going to go down and he’s actively trying to talk Jesus out of it. My favourite even goes so far as showing him his life as it could have been. The Bible doesn’t actually say particularly much about what the demons were up to in this whole period, but Jack is very much in the minority in thinking they were universally cool with it.
Jessica	Jack Chick (or even Christianity in general, for that matter) was never one to shy away from embellishment and unwarranted ret-conning to make a tired, well-worn story semi-appealing to new audiences. Honesty be damned.

 

Page 18 ⇑ ⇓

Jessica	What makes Demon von Neckbeard there think they are "dead meat"? I can understand a certain degree of shock at Jesus instigating his own respawn, though if you knew he was God incarnate, I don't know why that should surprise you. But still, why would that mean you're dead meat? Is Satan going to be pissed? Is God going to enact vengeance? What's the deal supposed to be?
Dot	The demons are just fully like “Oh, The guy with the Literal God powers just did a God Powered Thing? Who could have seen this coming? The ONE thing we didn’t want to happen. Also, you could straight up mess with anyone you know named Brad by cutting this page out of context, but I guess the rest of us are just kinda gubbed if it was Brad in particular Jesus was doing all this for.
Anna	*sigh* Technically, you are not “dead meat”. I believe the events of Revelation is possibly when you might be wiped from existence, which has not yet happened. And to pick on the art briefly, but I assume the second panel is meant to be Jesus? If so, where is His face? You had no qualms about depicting his face on Page 15, so what changed?

 

Page 19 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	"How insulting." I mean, she’s not wrong. At this point, hellbound or no, the kid IS just straight up slagging off the rest of the family right there at the dinner table. However you want to cut it, that’s one hell of a faux pas (pun very intended)
Anna	*sighs deeply* Not every non-believer is going to call people who pray idiots, fools and be ashamed of them, or even worse, descend into violence. And do not think I will let the rest of you off the hook either. You know full well he is Christian and praying comes with the territory, whether out loud or in their mind. You knew what you were getting when you invited Mortimer. You have no one to blame but yourselves.
Jessica	Precisely. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Everyone knows this particular strain of Fundy comes with the unenviable side-effect of incessant  proselytization and an annoying tendency to shame others over something as minor as their chosen brand of toilet tissue. You don't invite a rabid wolverine to dinner and then become all indignant when he eats a few of your children and pisses all over the carpet.

 

Page 20 ⇑ ⇓

Dot	"Why are they treating me like this?” Kid, you’re the one who just said that you wanted to shift afterlife destinations specifically to avoid them.
Jessica	“Because there is no fear of God before their eyes.” No, it's because I've successfully trained you how to be an irritating, condescending little shit. Welcome to the club, kid.
Anna	I assume the fear of God also covers that faith without good works is dead, a concept that you always love skipping over when explaining how simply accepting Jesus as your Saviour is all you need. And let us not forget the act of casting stones despite being sinners, which from what I can tell, you are doing right now. And on topic, I believe a certain verse from Romans that you love to recite is in order and applies to the man and the child.

 

Page 21 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	I can understand wanting to paint all the people who did not accept God as degenerates to push your fearmongering, but most people within a family event like this are not that overt with their statements. If anything, you might hear things like “I’ll think about it and get back to you.” Also, that was a fanatic to you? Them? Oh if you could hear the spirits as I do, you would hear so much derision for calling that pitiful effort as the workings of a ‘fanatic’. And to the demon at the front, have you cleared your party request officially? Or are they going to have to be canceled because you forgot to fill the form correctly?
Jessica	This “party in Hell” schtick comes up several times in Chick's tracts. I have to imagine he got the impression from 80's Black Metal aesthetics, but it's practically a trope in its own right.
Dot	Nice little bit of bonus homophobia going on there, with the gay couple who’ve just been trying to stay out of this mess with each other. The gays always get the *cutest demons* in Chick Tracts though which feels like kind of a backfire, even when Chick doesn’t go so far as drawing his gay characters with the same…er….*energy* as Carter does.
Jessica	That seems to be the entirety of both the joke and the punchline with these two characters. “Look! These two men are attracted to one another!!! Isn't that weird?!?” Also: “I’ll never get saved!” This is absurd. If these troglodytes are supposed to be atheists, they don't believe there's anything to be saved from, so they're not likely to say anything even close to this.

 

Page 22 ⇑ ⇓

Anna	Canceled due to fire? I blame that demon from before. Guess he did not fill out the form for parties in Hell correctly. And no, the intended joke from Chick is not lost on me. It just is not worth anything more than a sliver of my disdain. I also see you left out the things about being a good person and that it takes more than faith alone, as per James 2:14-26. Might want to fix your messaging there. But I guess you would not want to admit you are wrong and admit that good works are also required. How typical - if it conflicts with your message, you just discard it.
Jessica	Oh, come on now. At least they're all already naked. I'm sure you can whip up some sort of an impromptu party just using the dress code as a jumping off point. And given the venue, it's not like it would be considered all that socially unacceptable, really.
Dot	The big question I have here is where the… here… did Satan and his minions get balloons that don't burst instantly in what is meant to be the unfathomable flames of torture? Could I protect myself from hell's flames if I simply had my body wrapped in a party balloon on death? Jack, these are matters of eternity we're talking about. We need to know Jack - since you're there now - were there fireproof balloons at the reception?

 

Conclusion ⇑ ⇓

Dot	So in conclusion, the day wasn't even missing. Literally everyone in the comic was actively observing said day. Jack's just mad about people finding it awkward being forced to spend time with bigoted relatives. Gotta love as well how Jack adapts his version of history to sound as biblical as possible, because of course in his mind history and Bible stories are the same thing and they HAVE to fit in the same continuity somehow. This really manifests in his desperation to squeeze ANYTHING he can attribute to divine intervention out of the story, hence The Miracle Of That Time They Found Some Corn, or the Divine Encounter With The Guy Who Spoke English. Even then, it's extremely telling that he doesn't have enough material to fill even half a tract, and has to pad it out with THREE pages of Suffering Christ and a bunch of homophobic background jokes. Welp. I need a palate cleanser after that. Time to rewatch the best bit of Addams Family Values.
Jessica	I am glad that I am not the only one to see the ridiculousness of this entire affair. For those in our reading audience who happen to reside outside of the United States (a mysterious place the average American barely acknowledges even exists), I hope this can give you some idea of just how big of a deal this occasion is here. Despite whatever connotations the holiday may once have held, and Chick's attempts to embellish the fact, the religious origins of the season have long been almost entirely supplanted by unbridled consumption, both of food and of material goods. Neither Chick, nor I, believe this is a good thing… but for very different reasons I assure you. So this year, when you're stuffing your faces and emptying your wallets, remember that good old Uncle Mort is looking down his nose at you, and that all parties in Hell are canceled… so enjoy your turkey while you can, you filthy ingrates.
Anna	This has been enlightening, if only to expand my catalog of dissection notes and memories taken from each as a memento. Yet I did not find myself learning anything that I did not already know or suspect about Thanksgiving. Indeed, I would operate under the assumption that irrespective of belief, the idea of life in general is something to be grateful for, and not merely restricted to a single day of the year. As far as the tract fares, it is mediocre and has weak, ineffectual strawmen to push its misguided message to the reader. For those not knowledgeable about Thanksgiving, such as those not living in the United States, this fails to explain why the reader should see the occasion as anything more than just another day in the year, or in the case of Christians, why the reader would give the day extra special reverence akin to a day celebrated by Christians normally, such as the birth of Jesus or the day of His crucifixion. I must unfortunately take my leave now, as I have pressing matters to attend to. But before I depart, I will recommend that people learn to be thankful for their lives irrespective of whether a holiday exists. After all, everyone dies eventually. And whether you believe in an afterlife or not, you may exist in the memories of those you interact with in some way. Whether you choose for those memories to be pleasant or unplesant is up to you. Just something to think about after this dissection. And with that, may you fare well in the journey that is life. *bows before turning to leave*.

 

Further Reading ⇑ ⇓

• Comments Section at Boolean Union
   

 

Other Reviews & Commentaries ⇑

• Enter The Jabberwock (via Archive.org) - https://web.archive.org/web/20071123090810/http://www.enterthejabberwock.com/?p=490


• Bible Reloaded (YouTube Video) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQtuAv8EAQw