Hairy Polarity and the Sinister Sorcery Satire


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» January 29, 2024
Not Another Religious Tract Dissection by Boolean Union Studios


Hairy Polarity and the Sinister Sorcery Satire - TFY #012 (HPSS)
Art by Tim Todd- © 2004 Revival Fire Ministries

First Published: December 14th, 2012


Part 2


  Jessica   Sean   Urvy  







Page Index
31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45
46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
        61 62 63 64 65          

Commentators Jessica Andrew

oPage 31

Page 31
SeanSean Wow, Tim's actually learned to use speed lines correctly.


o Page 32

Page 32
UrvyUrvy So, are we back in the first page, or is the flashback thing over?
JessicaJessica You'll notice, however, that this version of that panel has a great deal more censored vulgarities in it. I guess old Tim didn't want to turn off his prudish audience with the very first page.
SeanSean Aw shit... don't tell me we're starting over!
JessicaJessica ...and the serpent eats it's tail.


o Page 33

Page 33
SeanSean I love this page. It's like that scene in Judge Dredd where they shoot Rob Schneider. Really satisfying to watch.


o Page 34

Page 34
UrvyUrvy Now, Vulgarmouth's quoting that craptacular “Street Fighter” movie, the one with Van Damme.
JessicaJessica "Of course!"
SeanSean His curses make no sense. They're all four letter words, so it looks like he's saying: "Cause you're about to fuck meet him". Sounds like one of those dating sites you see in pop-up ads all the time.


o Page 35

Page 35
UrvyUrvy She could said, “Supermus Smashious Brotherous!” and we could gotten something cooler, 20% cooler.
SeanSean Why even bother with the Bible quote? You already told us what happened.
JessicaJessica I'll bet it looked a little something like this, too.


o Page 36

Page 36
SeanSean Great, another "Not a real Christian" explanation. They really keep hammering us with this excuse for all the morally corrupt Bible thumpers out there.
JessicaJessica No true scotsman, indeed.


o Page 37

Page 37
UrvyUrvy ”No more playing Christian, I want to play a real game!   Find me an NES!”
SeanSean Gee, another Salvation scene. I totally did not see that coming.


o Page 38

Page 38
SeanSean Couldn't they have just put the shades on while he was asleep? Just asking.


o Page 39

Page 39
UrvyUrvy Oh My Gosh, a typical Anime shock gag!
SeanSean I don't blame Minnie for being skeptical here. Ari was going on about how this was against his religion all throughout this comic, and when he tried to invoke Jesus it failed while her magic succeeded. Now he's suddenly telling her that it'll work for real this time despite not giving any proof.


o Page 40

Page 40
UrvyUrvy ”OBJECTION!   You are controlled by Vulgermouth, you Gandalf wannabe!”
SeanSean Way to blow your cover there dude. Minnie probably would have just believed Ari was out of his mind until you decided to attack a defenseless kid.


o Page 41

Page 41
UrvyUrvy Man, Ari sure kicks demon ass by splatting them with one hand!
JessicaJessica And now we're ripping off the climax from the first Matrix film.
SeanSean Heavenly Guardian Defense! (Severe geek points for anyone who gets that reference).


o Page 42

Page 42
UrvyUrvy Wow, reverse Scooby-Doo.   Usually, those meddling kids unmask the monster, but it's backwards here.
SeanSean There's something that's been bothering me for a while: Why did Tim Todd decide to make the JK Rowling equivalent of this world a man? Did he somehow miss the hundreds of public appearances she had made and simply assumed she was a dude?
JessicaJessica Verbosi desperately needs to see an Orthodontist. Either than or magic himself up some dentures. Guy must be british.


o Page 43

Page 43
UrvyUrvy OBJECTION!  Tell the truth, Verbosi!
SeanSean "I wrote them, you fuck fool!" Is that meant to imply that Ari is a virgin? If so, I think Vulgarmouth hit the nail on the head pretty hard.


o Page 44

Page 44
UrvyUrvy Now, Tim Todd is stealing from George Lucas!
SeanSean Ow! The puns! They hurt!


o Page 45

Page 45
UrvyUrvy Looks like we have Eddie from those Iron Maiden albums in a witch hat, Discord from “My Little pony: Friendship is Magic”, Bowser, one of the Gremlins hugging a kid, Yoda hiding in the background, and in the far right, a depressed Lord of Darkness from that “Legend” movie.
SeanSean I like the Swamp Thing cameo on the far left. Sorry Tim, but that's as close to being Alan Moore as you're ever going to get.


o Page 46

Page 46
UrvyUrvy Whoa!  I didn't know that demons resemble deer on steroids!
JessicaJessica "It is I! Thuukus! Duketh of Demonths!"
SeanSean Meh, it's still a better name than "Ri-Chan".
JessicaJessica He likes that shape best? It must have a huge wang or something.


o Page 47

Page 47
UrvyUrvy ”Hey kids!   Now you can have your own demon with a book!”
JessicaJessica It's like those crappy prizes that come in Cracker Jack boxes.
SeanSean I've grown up with Harry Potter fans, several of which I remain friends with to this day. I can safely say that none of them believe for a second that they can use magic.


o Page 48

Page 48
UrvyUrvy ”A cancer so deadly, little kids will be witches and fly on broomsticks and do stereotypical witch things!”   Seriously folks, I doubt reading books will make kids cast spells, fly on broomsticks (which is impossible in reality), sacrifice animals and virgins, and all that jazz anyway.
JessicaJessica It may be impossible to fly on a broom... but don't tell that to all of those idiotic college Quiddich leagues.
SeanSean So they know they're going to lose to God in the Apocalypse, but they're going to fight him anyway...why?
JessicaJessica I guess they're just really, really, REALLY obstinate.


o Page 49

Page 49
UrvyUrvy Do I really need to sing the Randy Orton entrance theme about hearing voices?   Because, I think that song fits this panel.
SeanSean A book taking place in the late 20th century, using a modern dialect of English was written 200 years ago. Uh-huh, sure.


o Page 50

Page 50
UrvyUrvy Remember what I said on the previous panel?   I think that Randy Orton song would be a better fit here, because Verbosi is really hearing voices in his head more.
JessicaJessica "Stop whispering!!! Speak CLEARLY!!! I can't understand a damn thing you're saying!"
SeanSean I think this Demon's plan is a bit over complicated. Why not just turn into a human and write all the books yourself?


o Page 51

Page 51
UrvyUrvy ”Because she prefers free choice!”   So, is Tim Todd saying that freedom of choice is demonic?   I don't see that in the Bible, I can tell you.
SeanSean Wow, God's an asshole. "I'm not going to help Minnie because she doesn't believe in me"


o Page 52

Page 52
UrvyUrvy ”You are one big, ugly motherf***er!”  Now Tim Todd is ripping off Predator!
SeanSean Hang on, I thought their magic was actually the work of Demons. Why would they disobey Thuukus' commands?


o Page 53

Page 53
UrvyUrvy ”Am I still in this comic?”   Yep Minnie, but we're almost done.
JessicaJessica Now we've just done away with subtlety all together and just torn an enormous, gaping hole in the fourth wall.
SeanSean So that Yu-Gi-Oh cosplayer is an angel, but why the Yu-Gi-Oh getup?   And he's huge than what we saw earlier!
JessicaJessica Hang on, I thought their magic was actually the work of Demons. Why would they disobey Thuukus' commands?


o Page 54

Page 54
UrvyUrvy ”Come with me if you want to live, Ari!”   Another movie reference, only Tim Todd changed it to avoid lawsuits here.   Pretty sneaky there, Tim!
JessicaJessica Looks like the angel there likes to keep up on the manicures.
SeanSean I know Minnie didn't see all of Thuukus' revelations. But surely she can turn her head and see a GIGANTIC ANGEL TEARING A HOLE IN THE SKY!
JessicaJessica "This place is so magical and fun!" says the girl who just got her ass handed to her.


o Page 55

Page 55
UrvyUrvy I wonder what that Beefed-Up Discord wannabe means by “Arrangements”...
JessicaJessica Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
UrvyUrvy ”NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!”
JessicaJessica It finally hits the dumb broad -- "I done fuck up!"
SeanSean Yeah, just leave her to die and go to hell. It's okay, she was a heathen anyway.


o Page 56

Page 56
JessicaJessica That giant spider has the most boring job in all of Hell. It's almost as bad as those two other guys.
UrvyUrvy ”Wha?   It's only a dream?”   Again, more movie refs, and I thought that Titanic comic Tim Todd did was chock filled with references.
SeanSean Oh come on, you're making the Latin from Asterix look like Cicero!


o Page 57

Page 57
UrvyUrvy ”Taste my Jedi push, you fugly scary hag!”
JessicaJessica What did you do? You drug your feet the whole way, practically kicking and screaming. I'd say Minnie has to take some responsibility for her situation here.
SeanSean She told her parents about the suspicious note? Why the hell didn't they stop her? They might not believe in witchcraft and all that, but surely it must have occurred to them "Gee, this sounds like the kind of note a rapist or serial killer might write!"


o Page 58

Page 58
UrvyUrvy I wonder if Tim Todd has any commentary on medical science here...   To him, I guess medical science is no alternative to prayer or something...
SeanSean Yeah, and look how well that worked out for Kara Neuman.


o Page 59

Page 59
SeanSean I hate to say nice things about Tim Todd, but at the very least, he handles non-caucasians very well. Ari and his family are clearly not white, but they're depicted just like any other protagonist from his works. So bravo Tim, you're not as xenophobic as Jack Chick.
JessicaJessica Still, that's pretty faint praise. "At least you aren't as much of a raging racist bastard as this other guy!"

I think the whole ethnicity of Ari and his family was solely so they could use the similar sounding name "Ari Potiphar" without having to explain why he's so lily white. Right thing for the wrong reason, I suspect.


o Page 60

Page 60
UrvyUrvy Why is the TV on if a man in a coma can't hear or see what's happening?   Where is the logic?   I'm thinking I'm gonna have a Twilight Sparkle-esque meltdown here!
SeanSean Why are they getting away with this? She was right there when the police arrived, surely she would face some kind of jail time for drugging several teens and sending them into comas!


o Page 61

Page 61
UrvyUrvy Now, he's quoting WWE wrestler R-Truth by stealing his intro to his entrance theme!   But I'll be frank, it is originally found in The Bible, but the verse escapes me for the moment.
JessicaJessica "Lying comes naturally to the devils, politicians and TV evangelists. Oops. Scratch that last one."
UrvyUrvy I guess this comic is gonna be end in a cliffhanger, I hate these cliffhanger endings!
SeanSean It's not really a cliffhanger, it's more of a bittersweet ending. Yeah, Ari managed to get out safe, but it was too late for Minnie. It's kinda sad, but that's the way life is sometimes. Kudos for not going for the Hollywood ending!


o Page 62

Page 62
UrvyUrvy Oh, false alarm!   For a minute there, I was gonna go into Flutterrage mode here!
SeanSean ...You didn't have the balls did you Tim?
JessicaJessica Eat your heart out Disney.


o Page 63

Page 63
UrvyUrvy Yes!  The end of this comic!   We are free from the insanity!
SeanSean Why wasn't Dr. Verbosi's faith real? I'm pretty sure that realizing he was about to spend eternity in Hell would be enough to make a convert out of anyone.
JessicaJessica No, you see, there's a difference between believing and knowing. Why there's a difference is the wallbanger part.
SeanSean Oh joy, more of Minnie's slang. She about as convincing of a teenager as Abe Vigoda.


o Page 64

Page 64
UrvyUrvy Hmmm, that is a big list of things that wouldn’t happen in real life if kids saw the movies and read the books, however, he didn't include anything related to making Harry Potter fanfics.   I wonder how those who are against this series think about those fanfics at deviantART and FanFiction.Net anyway...
SeanSean A few of these are real, but I notice that they neglected the proper context. Like the ritual of bringing an evil wizard back through shedding of blood? Well for one, Voldemort wasn't actually dead, and two that was kind of the point, it was meant to be an evil ritual for bringing back the main villain.


o Page 65

Page 65
UrvyUrvy Yay, fake reviews!   Pity, that flying pig deserved more scenes in this scare story of a comic.
SeanSean Could someone just shut Minnie up? It stopped being funny ages ago and now it's just irritating.


o Conclusion

UrvyUrvy Well, I can give Tim Todd credit, unlike Jack Chick, he does follow what is popular in the media and manages to get the references right.   Still, while parody is fun and all, this was down right insulting to fans of Harry Potter.   And the overkill of movie-line ripoffs and copyright-violating fluff just kills whatever message about Harry Potter being the devil and such.     If I wanted parody and spoofing done right, I would rather watch a David Zucker movie or pull out a copy of MAD Magazine.   Still, it was fun dissecting this comic anyway.   I wonder, which book series will Tim Todd target?   Twilight?   Hunger Games?  Game of Thrones?  (I better be quiet, don't want to give Tim Todd any ideas.)

It's an honor having me to join in on the fun!   And it's a pleasure finding a scanned copy of this comic!  Thanks, everypony!   Now, off to Arkham City!
SeanSean I honestly did not enjoy this one as much as most of Todd's other works. Usually, these are of a "so bad it's good" level of quality. But this one tried to be funny, and all its attempts ended up falling flat on its ass. Oh, and as if that wasn't enough, he had the nerve to call this a "satire". No, "The Daily Show" is satire, this is just throwing out references and bad meta humor. And that's a shame, because this is the one where you want it to be hilariously bad. Sadly, this is what we got, take it for what it is.


o Further Reading