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Originally published at the Space Battles Forums. May 12th, 2017. The Gay Blade. Tract #027. Art by Fred Carter - © 1972 and 2000 Chick Publications

Originally published at the Space Battles Forums
May 12, 2017


 
Cover

The Gay Blade - Tract #027 (GAYB)
Art by Fred Carter - © 1972, 2000 Chick Publications


God judged Sodom for the homosexuality of its people. Jesus can deliver anyone from this sin and make them a new person!

CommentatorsCommentators

  Slick146 Slick146  
 
Page Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

o Introduction

Slick146Slick So, I've decided to do readings of Chick Tracts. I'm kinda new to this, but I think I can manage. I will be doing this panel by panel. So, first up? Gay Blade!

 

o Cover / Page 1

Cover / Page 1
 
 

 

o Page 2

Page 2
 
Slick146Slick Who here wants to bet that this is a Catholic priest in a Catholic Church? I'll start at $10. Also, his hand looks like he's casting a spell....real subtle Jack.

 

o Page 3

Page 3
 
Slick146Slick So, those are all gay men, right? I think I see a woman, though it might be a transvestite. Hopefully, with the orgasmic vocals of Tim Curry.

Fucking loving that facial hair on the husband. All of it. Really could just bend over and let him have his way with me as long as I can have a taste of that hair.

The two dudes in the background are so cute together. One's clearly stoned out of his mind, the other is adorable as hell. I hope they get married next.

Yeah, this isn't new Jack. Your amazing ability to fail at making anyone take you seriously, however, this one is a new low. I mean, everyone looks so happy here!

 

o Page 4

Page 4
 
Slick146Slick Okay, I cannot fault the woman for averting her child's gaze. I'm having trouble withstanding that....that....sheer, GLORIOUS SEXY HAIR! Seriously, those are the most luxurious pieces of hair I have ever seen! They're glorious!

The lambda symbol is for the LGBT movement, but I don't know who these gay militants are, or if they even exist.

"To most people, it's a big joke... but is it really?"

Yes. Yes it is, and you invented it. You started this stupid joke. Now, prove me wrong.

 

o Page 5

Page 5
 
Slick146Slick Okay Jack. I would love for you to explain your logic here to me. Also, the shadowy world of homosexuality sounds oodles better than the whatever you could come up with. And furthermore, this art is like looking at a bunch of poorly drawn angry homos, which inaccurately portrays the LGBT movement.

 

o Page 6

Page 6
 
Slick146Slick Well, I am a Catholic and proud of it! Besides, he isn't wrong. We all know about the Ellen show, right? And what is this regular thing he's talking about?

Also, Jack's artwork really is terrible to look at. Seriously, it just gets uglier the longer you stare at it and notice how hateful it really is.

 

o Page 7

Page 7
 
Slick146Slick Again, fail Jack. You manage to make it sound like a good thing they don't have to hide. And if we are going to go down the route of "vast gay conspiracy", can you wait while I microwave my popcorn?

 

o Page 8

Page 8
 
Slick146Slick ....I'm going to pass on this one. Jack, you're making this way too easy. I want a challenge! Give me a challenge, Jack!

 

o Page 9

Page 9
 
Slick146Slick Oh, not this again. We've all heard this argument a dozen times! It's still too easy! And if you are going to tell us this story, you'd better end it with the drunken incest threesome in the cave!

 

o Page 10

Page 10
 
Slick146Slick Only thing to make fun of here is the grainy art. It's like a poor film noir rendered into a comic. Actually, it's really boring, and not needed. The next panel could have said the exact same thing, but without the illustration.

 

o Page 11

Page 11
 
Slick146Slick The angels looked stoned or something. Seriously, they seem to be aware of the quality of the comic they are in, and have elected to be real chill about it, but deep down, they're hurting. Lot seems to...

I think he's having trouble telling apart his wrinkles from his facial hair, and I cannot blame him. It looks like he has an extra layer of fat covering his face.

Lot: *touching face* Shit, where'd this extra fat come from? How long has it been there? It's so flabby....

 

o Page 12

Page 12
 
Slick146Slick I can't help but wonder what the guy peeking in through the window is thinking.

Random Dude: SHIT! LOOK AT THAT! WOW MAN! LOT SOMEHOW GREW AN EXTRA LAYER OF FAT ON HIS FACE! OH, WHOA! THOSE ARE SOME HOT DAUGHTERS, AND THAT FOOD, MAN! I COULD- Oh wait, two handsome dudes are staying with him. *sigh* Better tell the guys so we can get this over with. Hope they don't eat all that food.....

 

o Page 13

Page 13
 
Slick146Slick LOT - where are the men who came to see you tonight (sexually)

It may be easy, but it's a good kind of easy!

 

o Page 14

Page 14
 
Slick146Slick Yeah, I'm mentally adding (sexually) onto the end of each sentence. You try it. Go on.....)

Now, the art is again just awful to look at. The characters who aren't Lot, and thus, gay men, are made into these demonic monsters. And it is not pleasing to look upon. It's unnerving. Seriously, look at them. One's even got a bitchy evil hairdo, all spiked.

 

o Page 15

Page 15
 
Slick146Slick The house looks like it's a giant, poorly made light bulb. No wonder those men ended up blind.

 

o Page 16

Page 16
 
Slick146Slick GAH! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

Whoa! I mean....that house up there isn't a light bulb, it's a rave party! The brightest rave party ever! I assume there's plenty of drugs everywhere, otherwise, they've all gone batshit insane. Which might explain why one of them has his shirt off, and waving his arms about like a......yeah, he looks crazy. Heck, they even be zombies! Crazed, drugged up, raving zombies!

 

o Page 17

Page 17
 
Slick146Slick No, they weren't all safely removed from Sodom. The wife looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt. Holy shit, you can actually see her! She's right there! And where is the drunken cave sex? I demand drunken cave sex!

Also, it seems Jack did his research on this subject. He might be right here about Sodom being found. Jack Chick was right about something! Point to him.

I just did research. Nope, sorry Jack. You're using a biased researcher for your source. Point removed(sexually).

 

o Page 18

Page 18
 
Slick146Slick Jack has managed to make homosexual into a slur. Wow. I love that Jack seems to think he has to include those little brackets to show us what the Bible verses are talking about, like we couldn't tell. Jack, we get it, homosexual sex is wrong and will send you to hell. Which is actually what the Bible teaches. Depending on which interpretation you're using, though. Jack's probably written his own one.

The image there makes me think the mustache fellow is going to eat the other guy. OM NOM NOM NOM! Furthermore, the other guy doesn't even try to deny he's a bigot. Shame!!!!!

 

o Page 19

Page 19
 
Slick146Slick Well....you know what? You guys know what? I find it real amusing that Jack thinks he can teach us the Bible, when his own interpretation is probably really wrong.

The images are pretty silly. For starters, we got a blonde, I assume blue eyed white Christian woman fleeing from a lesbian, angrily saying no. She looks like a pouting child who had her favorite toy(sexually) taken away from her. And her lover is probably naked. Yeah. So wait, did she just strip naked and wait for the woman to come back so she could surprise her?

The third woman doesn't want to change. Well, neither do I. Still, she looks real stoned. Seriously, why does everyone look stoned in this?

 

o Page 20

Page 20
 
Slick146Slick .....Wow. I don't even know what to say about this. Jack Chick has just managed to be at his most offensive throughout this entire strip. People have died from AIDS, and claiming they have such short lifestyles because of AIDS, venereal disease and violence disrespects them and the suffering they endured! Shame on you, Jack Chick! SHAME!!!!

 

o Page 21

Page 21
 
Slick146Slick Jack cannot ignore the all part of that. He knows he must have sinned two(sexually).

Of course, most of the rest of this is correct. Except for the part where he equates homosexuality with murder. I don't think it is considered that bad....

 

o Page 22

Page 22
 
Slick146Slick And even death itself may die. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah' nagl fhtagn!

On a more serious note, he looks like he just had sex, and it felt so great!

 

o Conclusion

Slick146Slick Oh, you can't get to Heaven
Reading Chick Tracts
Oh, you can't get to Heaven
Reading Chiiick Tracts!


No, you cannot get to Heaven reading Chick Tracts Cause this trash turns your brains to mush I will not grieve my Lord no more, I've been redeemed!

So, that was Gay Blade. Was there a blade? No, not really. So, which chick tract shall we do next? Here is a link to them all.

Tracts by Chick Publications

Pick one!

 

o Further Reading


 

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