These tracts would almost epitomize Poe's law, that one cannot parody a conservative christian without appearing to be the real thing, but for one fact. He's been at this for 41 years. Even the most determined of trolls would get bored after that long. So, one can only assume that this guy does, in fact, mean what he says.

As a general warning, I make no secret of being an Atheist, and as such, am not overly concerned about sensitivity toward the subject matter. I will, however, try to keep jabs toward ordinary Christians out of it, so as to better focus on the sweet, sweet crazy of Jack Chick.

Today's tract is called "It's Coming". Note that through the course of this tract, nothing actually "comes" as such. It's mostly just people sitting around talking about said thing. In classic Jack Chick style, however, he manages to make even that look stupid on every level. Let's begin:

"It's coming! These eleven drops of rain are the harbingers of doom!"

We also get some typical Jack Chick dialogue, I.E. someone says something stupid (Worst storm in history, and they're only fearing mudslides?) and another person brings up the bible right the fuck out of nowhere.

On to the second panel.

Now hold on a minute. He just said, perhaps in a moment of hyperbole, that this was the "Worst storm in history." They were even talking about the possibility of mudslides a minute ago! Now this guy is driving all the way to Bob's house just so his cousin tell him off for being a fundie? This must be the Chick-verse, where all nonreligious people are lemmings for getting at those darn, dirty Christians. And furthermore... wait a minute. Is that Lisa?

Huh.

Now we get a footnote, where one can supposedly find the source that "Proves" that the earth is 6000 years old. You'd think most of us would have heard of it were this the case. It comes from Chick Publications though, where every piece of printed material is guaranteed to made from at least 75% the crazy of Jack Chick himself!

"Uh, oh. She's bringing up the local flood theory. Time to put on my rape face!"
Seriously the good guys in every single chick tract always end up looking... beyond creepy. And Chick is quite one to talk about ignoring facts that destroy one's belief. NO U indeed.

So, was "With the earth" supposed to be the gut punch in that line? Because I think destroying the people is the more immediate concern.

Also, allergic reactions to THE TRUTH aside, how do these people not know anything about Noah's flood again? And why is she this shocked over something she doesn't believe in? I suppose the underlying question is WHO ACTS LIKE THIS? "I was hostile to everything you stood for a minute ago, but now I am enraptured by every word from your mouth!"

(Artist: "Man, drawing circles is easy. I should do panels like this more often!")

So, yeah, Noah started building the ark. And apparently all those people continued to sneer at all the hundreds of exotic animals that showed up from nowhere, seemingly of their own accord. 'Cuz sneering is my medicine!

Oh, and I guess they just threw that pterodactyl out at the last minute. We may never know why.

And, yes, Jack Chick is firmly inside the camp that thinks dinosaurs were actually on the Ark. Strangely enough, this tract doesn't even address where they all went afterward. This is just scratching the surface of the crazy, people!

And I guess we missed the part where the World got ready to rumble. Too bad, really.

And Jack; we know how this all goes. You really don't need to point out every single bible passage where this stuff happens.

Maybe it's symbolic of the way this crap is being shoved down our throats.

It looks like she finally managed to get that load of jaggeddy white puke out of her throat though, so there's some good news. And as we all know, "Jesus loves you, so accept him or burn in agony for the rest of eternity!"

Jack Chick seems to operate under the assumption that anyone who is not a follower of Jesus clearly must never have heard of him. There are a few other rather crazier assumptions he makes that I think speak for themselves, but I just have to wonder, who is he writing this for? Who could possibly be taken in by this garbage that isn't terminally insane already?

All I know is: This shit is really goddamn funny.