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Last Updated:

» May 22, 2024

 

The Marriage Mess

The Marriage Mess

Chapter 8 - Farewell


...in which Mark departs, leaving the Miller's to their new, Christ-centered lives.


CommentatorsCommentators

Jessica

Jessica

Andrew

Andrew


Page Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18

o CommentatorsJessicaAndrew Page 1 collapse_button

Page 1 JessicaJessica The kid hasn't gotten any cuter. He's still desperately trying to expectorate his teeth.
   
AndrewAndrew Though he does pretty soon: see Panel 10.
   
JessicaJessica I guess it's because he's still defiant.
   
   

 

o Page 2 collapse_button

Page 2 JessicaJessica Gah, what is she wearing?
   
AndrewAndrew This kid doesn't know how this works. You don't handle it like this, you say, "mom, I want to go see Jimmy, dad already said it was ok!" then bank on mom being too lazy to actually check. Then when dad asks, tell him mom said it would be ok.
   
JessicaJessica "Do you honestly expect me to have a say in the rearing of my children?!?! I have a vagina for god's sake!"

"Thanks for that, mom."
   
   

 

o Page 3 collapse_button

Page 3 JessicaJessica "Wow, Mom. When I grow up, can I order a woman around?"
   
AndrewAndrew "They don't need me anymore?" So what, this guy was just gonna hang around until things started to improve?
   
JessicaJessica So he came just to fuck with their lives? Didn't he say he had business? Did we ever see him do any business? We did see him do some grocery shopping.
   
AndrewAndrew I guess the implication is that his business was to improve their family life. Which further implies he was sent by God... or something. There's war and genocide all over the world, but when a family of sub-humanoid troglodytes needs help- Mark is on the job!
   
JessicaJessica All he does is lecture. He couldn't very well be trusted to handle something important, now could he? The Sub-Saharan AIDS epidemic won't go away just by earnestly reciting bible verses at it, no matter what the Vatican says!
   

 

o Page 4 collapse_button

Page 4 AndrewAndrew Yeah, hot chili at lunch will sometimes give you that impression.
   
JessicaJessica "You didn't tell me the Bible had word searches!"

"Frank, that was the back of your placemat."
   
   

 

o Page 5 collapse_button

Page 5 AndrewAndrew Now Frank is so holy his head glows like a lightbulb!
   
JessicaJessica That's not Frank! His jowls disappeared! Does that make sense to anybody?
   
AndrewAndrew Don't worry, be happy!
   
JessicaJessica He's wearing a white suit.
   

 

o Page 6 collapse_button

Page 6 AndrewAndrew You know they make laxatives for that.
   
JessicaJessica "My house... is CHANGING... SHAPE!!!"
   
   

 

o Page 7 collapse_button

Page 7 JessicaJessica He likes it when she calls him Daddy.
   
AndrewAndrew Especially in the wee hours.
   
JessicaJessica You know, as disturbing as it is Sandy kind of reminds me of this.
   
   

 

o Page 8 collapse_button

Page 8 AndrewAndrew As opposed to all those guys from church.... Maybe the guys at school at least know how to use a condom.
   
JessicaJessica He's one of those Real Christians™.
   
AndrewAndrew No, he's one of those fake-ass Christians. He's actually a deep-cover mole sent to discover the secrets of our communion.
   
JessicaJessica You know the desecrated host is an essential component of the Black Mass!
   

 

o Page 9 collapse_button

Page 9 JessicaJessica Although remember when Mark said "When he forbids you to go to church, tell him 'Yes, dear'"? I guess Frank didn't get the whole lesson.

This is basically a prescription to keep their religion as insular as possible. "You want some of this sweet meat? Convert."
   

 

o Page 10 collapse_button

Page 10 AndrewAndrew "You wanna know what happens when you smoke 50 pounds of marijuana.. at once? Behold my friend!"
   
JessicaJessica "Bible study? Brad, you said we were gonna pick up some hookers! And where's that 50 pounds of hash you promised me?"
   
AndrewAndrew Brad's turned into a serious buzz-kill.
   
JessicaJessica You can tell that later tonight these two are going to go up to his room and start docking. (NSFW)
   

 

o Page 11 collapse_button

Page 11 AndrewAndrew Billy finally got a haircut.
   
JessicaJessica I like the German peasant outfit he stuck his wife into. "Doe, a deer. A female deer." Plus, she has got some serious hips going on there. She balloons out at the waist like a picnic table umbrella.

"He wants us in the mission field" ...it beats getting a job. Now we don't have to worry about housing- we'll live off the church's tit!"
   
   

 

o Page 12 collapse_button

Page 12 AndrewAndrew Now Frank looks like a funeral director, with that black suit and stiff posture.
   
JessicaJessica Mark's leaving so their gonna put him in a boat and give him a Viking funeral.

When you take this panel in context with the last few, you realize that everyone except Brad slums around the house in their Sunday finest. I don't put on a business suit when I am sitting around watching television.
   
   

 

o Page 13 collapse_button

Page 13 AndrewAndrew He says "prayer" singular, not "prayers." Or does he mean prayer in general? And who is "them"? The Millers?
   
JessicaJessica "Thank you for sending Mark to us... and completely turning our life inside-out."
   
   

 

o Page 14 collapse_button

Page 14 AndrewAndrew And now we have a superfluous coda.
   
JessicaJessica Thank you for at least admitting to the passage of time.
   
   

 

o Page 15 collapse_button

Page 15 AndrewAndrew Helen looks like she shaved 20 years off her age.
   
JessicaJessica ...and pounds. Apparently when you get saved, you contract that Benjamin Button disease.
   
   

 

o Page 16 collapse_button

Page 16 AndrewAndrew "And with that, Mrs Smith had a heart attack from the shock."
   
JessicaJessica Jeez, they didn't do that shit in their own house.

Also, looks like Sandy finally got her wish of becoming a blond.
   
   

 

o Page 17 collapse_button

Page 17 JessicaJessica "Want us to keep doing nice things for you? Join our church! That's how this thing works."
   
   

 

o Page 18 collapse_button

Page 18 JessicaJessica Her face is withering as we watch.
   
AndrewAndrew Again, she's how old, and she's never met any other Christians who attempted to meet the demands of the faith? I would have given up a long time ago.
   
   

 

o Conclusion collapse_button

  JessicaJessica So what's the moral of this story?
   
AndrewAndrew Unrealistically perfect characters can shame others into changing their ways? I mean, Mark's just a big Mary Sue. Again, in the real world someone this intrusive wouldn't be tolerated.
   
JessicaJessica "I didn't ask you for your opinion. No, seriously, shut the fuck up. We're well beyond being polite."