The Marriage Mess


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» June 8, 2023
Not Another Religious Tract Dissection by Boolean Union Studios


The Marriage Mess

The Marriage Mess

Chapter 6 - The Good Samaritan which Mark demonstrates how to show kindness to strangers.


  Jessica   Andrew  





Page Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25

o CommentatorsJessicaAndrew Page 1

Page 1 JessicaJessica Look Robin, the Mark-signal!


o Page 2

Page 2 JessicaJessica The hand could belong to Bigfoot... yikes.
JessicaAndrew All these strips are populated by ape-men.
JessicaJessica But EVILUTON is a lie!!!
JessicaAndrew Well, see, Chick just wants us to know that cave men are still among us...
JessicaJessica What could the president honestly have done to elicit a "YAAAAAAH"?


o Page 3

Page 3 JessicaJessica Frank here is slowly morphing into a charicature of Richard Nixon.
AndrewAndrew Somehow I missed out on this little bit of doctrine. Sounds like the old ideas of "divine right".
JessicaJessica Is Mark honestly saying that Hitler was God's annointed? I'd like some clarification on this issue.
AndrewAndrew At the risk of getting political, I've never heard any of, say, Bill Clinton's religious opponents claim he was God's annointed.


o Page 4

Page 4 AndrewAndrew "My nameless political party!"
JessicaJessica "I am not a crook!"

My god, he's a libertarian!
AndrewAndrew I guess he's a Republican... in '78 the president was Carter, a Democrat. Also a born-again Christian. Wacky!
JessicaJessica Mark's become so holy he's fading away like the Holy Spirit.


o Page 5

Page 5 AndrewAndrew Wow, it really is the right of kings. The Elizabethans believed that God sometimes sent bad kings to punish the people, and that the correct response was not to overthrow the tyrant, but to just put up with it and hope that the king changed his ways. Theoretically those ideas went out the window a long time ago. Theoretically.
JessicaJessica If you're not praying for your president and your pastor, you get Billy Clinton and Teddy Haggert.


o Page 6

Page 6 JessicaJessica "Vote for the the man God leads you to vote for! Unless you're a woman, in which case you vote for whoever your husband tells you to."


o Page 7

Page 7 AndrewAndrew Wow, something unpleasant happened to Billy.
JessicaJessica He looks like a hobo.
AndrewAndrew I think he fell in a fire.


o Page 8

Page 8 AndrewAndrew Nothing suggests a good time like the command "go get some rope."
JessicaJessica Once again, "the suffering of others gives us pleasure!" Is this a family of sociopaths? I'm surprised they don't keep a bevy of pets around just to torture.


o Page 9

Page 9 JessicaJessica Looks like Billy is about to "mark" that tree. "This tree is mine now! Pissing' on this tree for jesus!"
AndrewAndrew Billy emphasizes "waste" with italics and underlines. That seems like a weird place to put the emphasis in that sentence. Say it out loud.


o Page 10

Page 10 AndrewAndrew Some people might consider that trespassing.
JessicaJessica I know his head's supposed to be down, but it just looks like there's nothing on top of his neck.
AndrewAndrew Perhaps he's a hunchback- though actually I like to imagine that he looks like Lex Luthor from the front.
JessicaJessica "The first kind act anyone has ever done for me!"? What is this guy, like 90? He must have had an unpleasant life.


o Page 11

Page 11 AndrewAndrew Sometimes good works are important. But sometimes they aren't.
JessicaJessica Mark is one of those guys who insists on giving a nickname to everyone whether they want it or not.


o Page 12

Page 12 JessicaJessica "Besides, I'm fresh out of petrified elephant shit!"

It's difficult to tell from this angle, but it looks like he bought a box of diapers, a single egg, and a bottle of aspirin. They're gonna have a wild night.
AndrewAndrew Billy's gained fifty-plus pounds since the last panel.


o Page 13

Page 13 JessicaJessica "Ooh, oh!... He made a mistake!" "Did he short change you?" "Go get some rope."
AndrewAndrew Is "Ooh, oh!" supposed to be like "Uh oh?"


o Page 14

Page 14 AndrewAndrew "Sho, nuff mister. I needs this job! I's just po folks!"

"Boy, what a lesson!" Pound it home, Jack, pound it home. We don't want to take the risk that anyone might miss the point.
JessicaJessica He's got the beginnings of a pretty impressive afro going on there.


o Page 15

Page 15 AndrewAndrew And with that, the comic pulls to a screeching halt... no, I'm sorry, it doesn't.


o Page 16

Page 16 JessicaJessica Oh, I guess the "waaaah" is coming from the kid.


o Page 17

Page 17 JessicaJessica Billy has begun to morph into Colonel Mustard. "It was Mark, in the street, with the'74 Buick."
AndrewAndrew Several panels ago Billy's "soup strainer" began to turn into more of a "British officer circa 1899" handlebar. No word on the hair.

o Page 18

Page 18 JessicaJessica "I couldn't do that, Billy, it would be dishonest. And besides, this three-point fracture isn't really that bad!"
AndrewAndrew I guess Mark's deep-seated spirituality protects him from shock, or at least a few minutes of jittery detachment. I know Bible verses wouldn't be the first thing out of my mouth if I had almost gotten hit by a car.
JessicaJessica It looks like Billy's tryin to pray the Spirit over him. "Just lie there, Mark, I'll have this taken care of in two shakes. Oogety Boogety! See, I can do his Christian stuff too."

o Page 19

Page 19 JessicaJessica "... and I have genital herpes and my parents told me I was adopted and I got this horrible hair cut.. and... and..."
AndrewAndrew It's just a no good, horrible, very bad day all around.
JessicaJessica "I don't even know whose kid this is! That's what I get for jacking a Hyundai!"
AndrewAndrew Hey, don't call the nice man an SOB!

o Page 20

Page 20 AndrewAndrew Again, I don't think I would be in any shape to drive anywhere at that moment. I guess Christians have nerves of steel.

o Page 21

Page 21 JessicaJessica You'll notice those two have the same face. She looks like she's about to chuck that kid with eevery ounce of her strength.
AndrewAndrew She's awfully trusting of this hippy and his crazy-talking friend.
JessicaJessica I know 1978 is some by-gone paradise, but I still have a hard time accepting that she'd get into a car with these two. Mark is wearing a "flasher" trenchcoat, and Billy looks like your shifty, late-night uncle.
AndrewAndrew "Hey lady, you want to see the 'power of the Lord'?" "Sure.... ahhh!"
JessicaJessica You just know Mark is packin'.

o Page 22

Page 22 AndrewAndrew Mark: "I bet it's gas."

Billy: "No, I'm pretty sure this VW runs on diesel fuel."
JessicaJessica I like how Mark, who has no indication of having any children, and whose wife is long dead, knows better than a mother that the kid has gas. Or did he have an opportunity to man-handle a lot of kids while doing missionary work? Or it's Christian telepathy that tells him it's gas. It must be that Holy Spirit they're always talking about.

o Page 23

Page 23 JessicaJessica "I'll eat your heart!!!"
AndrewAndrew Gyaa. So... she got the baby all the way to... wherever they are... without realizing it might by gassy?
JessicaJessica The kid actually looks like one of those porly constructed babydolls where you insert a pacifier and it just sucks on it. Either that or he's about to belt out a very impressive baritone.

o Page 24

Page 24 JessicaJessica When I first read her speech-bubble, I thought she said "Goose-end"
AndrewAndrew Oh, a tract. Yeah, that'll help her economic situation. Does he just carry them wherever he goes?

I'll bet you anything that's supposed to be an actual Chick tract. I can't quite make out the title, though.
JessicaJessica Someone set up us the bomb. You are on the way to financial destruction.
"My contributions depend on you buying my religious beliefs! I'm doing this for the lord!"
AndrewAndrew Even Billy feels this little episode stretches credibility.
JessicaJessica She's one of the most unrealistic characters in the whole thing.

o Page 25

Page 25 JessicaJessica "Did you get lost?" Well, considering there hasn't been an identifiable building in the last ten panels, it's not surprising.
AndrewAndrew Identifiable buildings heck, we don't even have real characters, just sillhouettes.

And again, there's Billy to pound home the message for us.We need Captain Obvious to let the slower kids in the audience know what's going on.
JessicaJessica "We had a wonderful time. I extorted a conversion out of a confused young woman!"