The Marriage Mess

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Last Updated:

» June 8, 2023
Not Another Religious Tract Dissection by Boolean Union Studios

 

The Marriage Mess

The Marriage Mess

Chapter 2 - Soup's On


...in which a meal is served, and family bonds are tested.


Commentators

  Jessica Jessica   Anna Andrew  

Page Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

o CommentatorsJessicaAndrew Page 1

Page 1 AndrewAndrew You know, if I sleep through breakfast, my mother doesn't sit around all morning and wait for me to get up. She just goes about her business.
   
JessicaJessica Yes. Clearly she is FAR too busy with the hair dresser to clean up her house. This woman is obviously a homemaker. What does she have to do besides "Making Home????"
   
   

 

o Page 2

Page 2 AndrewAndrew "Lift up the Lord." Sound like a dance craze that didn't quite catch on.
   
JessicaJessica I shudder to think what "Lifting up the Lord" at a hair dresser would entail.

"What does he think I am?" I am almost afraid to ask.
   
   

 

o Page 3

Page 3 AndrewAndrew The Lord appreciates a clean house.
   
JessicaJessicaJessica Ye Gods! I'll freely admit, I can let the dishes go for some time. But this family is full of pigs! Is that a cracked egg shell on the counter there? Are they knowingly trying to culture salmonella?
   
   

 

o Page 4

Page 4 AndrewAndrew That vacuum cleaner is pretty awesome, I guess.
   
JessicaJessicaJessica Mark has adopted the face of a japanese blow up doll. Or maybe this thing. Yikes.

The dresser has the "crosshatched ether" look to it as well. The longer this goes on, the more I start to think Chick only had one set of shading sheets and is recycling them mercilessly.
   
   

 

o Page 5

Page 5 AndrewAndrew That "D" says it all.
   
JessicaJessicaJessica "I wouldn't mind bringing my friends home now!" Unless his parents had been given unexpected lobotomies, I'd still harbor a few hesitations on that one.

Sandy is always either smiling uncontrollably or scowling viciously. She has no middle range what so ever.

The wonky legs and overbite make Brad look like he's going all Lampwick on us. Or maybe Torgo.
   
   

 

o Page 6

Page 6 JessicaJessica Helen's obviously had a hard day at the hair dressers.
   
AndrewAndrew Helen's got the flu, and judging by this panel, Mark has suddenly been struck with Down Syndrome.
   
JessicaJessica "I feel sick, Mark."

We can all sympathise Helen. Believe you me.
   
   

 

o Page 7

Page 7 AndrewAndrew Sandy looks Spanish, or even Japanese here.
   
JessicaJessica I think she's turning Japanese... I really think so.
   
   

 

o Page 8

Page 8 AndrewAndrew Why does he ask Mark, anyway?
   
JessicaJessica Yeah, Frank. Lay off her! She had a trying day at the hair dresser. What did you do, besides go to work and earn the sole paycheck to support this perverse House of Lies?!?!
   
   

 

o Page 9

Page 9 AndrewAndrew Mark just suddenly got a great deal "nobler" looking. Also... Helen has NEVER been sick before? You know, when my parents couldn't or didn't want to cook, we'd usually just order a pizza.
   
JessicaJessica I know. It's not like it's the end of the world. I'm sure ordering in would be a welcome change from Helen's cooking. She certainly doesn't look like your typical Julia Child. Maybe Paula Dean. MORE BUTTER!!!
   
   

 

o Page 10

Page 10 JessicaJessica WHHHAAARRR-GAAARRRBLE!!!!
   
AndrewAndrew I don't think I've ever been that angry about anything in my entire life. And I've been through high school. His eyes are about to pop out of his head.
   
JessicaJessica This reminds me of that guy from Scanners, where Michael Ironside makes his head explode. That would have been a preferable outcome to the rest of this comic.
   
   

 

o Page 11

Page 11 AndrewAndrew Jesus Christ: saver of souls, scrambler of eggs.
   
JessicaJessica "Uhh... yeah, Mark. That TOTALLY doesn't have anything to do with anything."
   
   

 

o Page 12

Page 12 JessicaJessica "I don't know how to make a salad..." Jesus...
   
AndrewAndrew Salad frightens and confuses him.
   
JessicaJessica The devil's work, you say!!!
   
   

 

o Page 13

Page 13 AndrewAndrew Like a can-opener. A giant, proseletizing can-opener. Also, I'm trying to figure out what that thing says. "Accucl?"
   
JessicaJessica This dinner must be important. If God opened up the good china and all. Ba-Dump Chhh.
   
   

 

o Page 14

Page 14 AndrewAndrew So wait... watching bloody executions helps one learn to cook? Or is there some other connection here I'm not seeing that makes that detail relevent to the story here? You know, a six-course meal is a lot of food for anyone but a gourmand. When I was a kid I was happy with a sandwich or a bowl of mac and cheese.
   
JessicaJessica "He was God's man of the hour..." then God kicked his ass to the curb!
   
   

 

o Page 15

Page 15 AndrewAndrew Flowers! Insane! Next thing you'll say is that I should be nice to her!
   
JessicaJessica Mark's cooking lessons must be working. Frank is already transforming into the Swedish Chef. BÝrk, bÝrk, bÝrk.
   
   

 

o Page 16

Page 16 AndrewAndrew This is the first panel in which Billy has looked marginally human.
   
JessicaJessica Don't get too attached to it. It fades fast.

You telling me that lazy old git can't get her own pillows. Jeez! It's the flu. Not Polio!
   
   

o Page 17

Page 17 AndrewAndrew Frank doesn't understand, and neither does anyone else. Is anybody else wondering if Mark's Bible verses are just the ramblings of early Alzheimers?
   
JessicaJessica Gee, Frank doesn't understand. What a shocker. I'm starting to think Frank is functionally retarded. That "office" he goes to everyday is like some sort of Adult Daycare Center.

"Mommy doesn't let me make the salad... <drool>..."
   
   

o Page 18

Page 18 AndrewAndrew Actually, in the real world, hollow guestures can get you pretty far.
   
JessicaJessica And Frank, for the love of all that is holy keep those monster jowls of yours out of the soup. I worked hard on that shit!
   
   

o Page 19

Page 19 JessicaJessica He's practically choking on his words. "Showing any sort of affection for you, you ugly hag, is making me ill."
   
AndrewAndrew Just a pet peeve... if you say "I'm speechless," then you clearly aren't.
   
   

o Page 20

Page 20 AndrewAndrew Compare this with panel number one of this chapter. Also, he put as much effort into that flower as into everything else combined.
   
JessicaJessica This one act of guilt-tripped, insincere kindless has made me forget about all the yelling, and beating and burning with cigarettes.

REALLY love that man. Denial is an ugly, ugly thing. Thanks for doing your part, Mark.