Archived DissectionOriginally published at SpaceBattles Forums. May 13th, 2017. Somebody Loves Me?. Tract #010. Art by Jack Chick - © 1969 Chick Publications
Originally published at SpaceBattles Forums
May 13th, 2017
Somebody Loves Me? - Tract #010 (SOME)
Art by Jack Chick - © 1969 Chick Publications
Beaten and alone, a child dies. But Jesus cares.
Introduction ⇑ ⇓
 Slick146 |
So, here is the third Chick tract. Somebody Loves me. Read over this, and holy hell, are we in for a ride! Polokun thank you requesting this one. |
Cover / Page 1 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Okay, we open with out first scene. |
Page 2 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
If you're wondering, this strip will have very little dialogue. All I can say is that this is going to be a very depressing strip. |
Page 3 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Oh yeah. It's one of those strips. So, let's add some black comedy dialogue to lighten the mood.
"SMALL PIECE OF FLESH I CALL MY CHILD! TAKE THIS METAL CONTAINER KNOWN AS A CUP, AND MAKE UNCARING, IGNORANT ADULTS PUT THEIR METAL COINS INSIDE SO I AM MAY BUY AND PUT LIQUID INSIDE MY BODY AGAIN! GO NOW WHILE I MENTALLY HICCUP!" "Yes, sir. May I get some underwear?" "THE GARMENT YOU REFER TO AS UNDERWEAR MAY ONLY BE PUT ON YOUR SKIN AFTER I HAVE LIQUID IN MY BODY! NOW, LEAVE THIS WOODEN DWELLING WE REFER TO AS A HOUSE AND MARCH THROUGH THE STORM TO GET THIS MAN WHO IS YOUR FATHER THE MONEY SO HE MAY HAVE LIQUID IN HIS BODY!" "Yes, sir." ...yeah, I am not sure if I'm feeling it. Her ass is kinda cute. |
Page 4 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
So, no one is going to help the small begging kid despite the fact she is clearly miserable, cold, and poor? She's literally right there! She's cold, and shivering, and almost naked! RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM! But they're just like, "fuck off, whore. I've got to get out of this rain!" |
Page 5 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
So, all she gets is a single penny? That's it? Just a penny? Not a, "call social services, this baby is dying," just a penny? That is next to nothing. It's an empty gesture, really. |
Page 6 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"SMALL LUMP OF SHIVERING FLESH THAT I CALL MY CHILD, WHAT HAVE YOU COLLECTED THIS DARK AND STORMY NIGHT?"
"Sadly, not Ebola, sir." ...Oh piss off. This is already pretty depressing, and it's just going to get worse. |
Page 7 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"HOE I REFER TO AS MY CHILD! HOW DARE YOU BRING ME BACK A SINGLE METAL PLATE WHOCH IS WORTH AS MUCH AS THE NUMBER ONE! YOU'LL WISH YOU HAD DIED OF EBOLA AND CANCER WHEN I AM THROUGH WITH YOU!"
That might have been too far, actually. Sorry. |
Page 8 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Pick up the shot glass, pick the shot glass, pick the-FUCK NO!!!!!! |
Page 9 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
WHERE THE HELL IS SOCIAL SERVICES?!?!?! |
Page 10 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Oh my god, there's blood! She is actually bleeding! NO! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU MONSTER!
Seriously, where in the name of all that is holy is Social Services? Hopefully it can't get worse. |
Page 11 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
*horrified*
Just hit the ten image limit. Thank. GOD! .....no comment, just no comment. Just...mother of mercy. Sweet baby jesus, this tract is depressing. I am done for tonight. See you all next morning. I'm moving Dark Dungeons up now, it is next. I am so sorry about all those jokes, but this tract isn't even so bad it's good, it is just depressing as hell. Fuck this shit... |
Page 12 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Did we really have to see this, Jack? Did we? I want to skip this, but I have to do every strip. Even the ones where a beaten child is thrown outside into the rain and mud to lie down and die.
At least the lightning is stupid enough it can make you laugh.....right? |
Page 13 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Rise like a phoenix! |
Page 14 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
She crawled all the way from her house to the city in the middle of a thunderstorm, is most likely dying, and still no one helps her? People suck. |
Page 15 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
People really do suck. No one stops to help her, look at her, or even notice her, she's too weak to even stand up or defend herself from a cat! A freaking cat! |
Page 16 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
Somebody loves you, not enough to actually save you!!!! |
Page 17 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"Oh thank goodness. Toilet paper. I'll save this for later use." |
Page 18 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"What kind of texture is this? Is it sandpaper? Lady, is this sandpaper or not? I can't tell because I've never seen real paper. This is the first piece of paper I've ever touched." |
Page 19 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"No wait, stay with me. Or carry me to a hospital please. And who's this Jesus? Is it the paper? The paper loves me? What is love? No one has ever given it to me." |
Page 20 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"Oh paper known as Jesus, we'll be together forever, and get married, and have a bunch of little paper children! ACK!"
Still a better love story than Twilight. |
Page 21 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
"Hey girl, nice trick! I'm going to a costume party, and I am sure that everyone would love you there! What do you think of my angel costume, girl?.....Girl?.... Dear Mother of Mercy. Did no one notice a dying child? I have now lost faith in human kind."
Oh, so she just dies right there? Completely alone, the only thing she has ever loved being a piece of paper? Are we serious right now? I mean, the angel collecting her soul is a nice touch, but compared to the sheer heartlessness of what we have seen from actual human beings, it is not enough to make this uplifting. |
Page 22 ⇑ ⇓
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| Slick146 |
So, the soul of a dead child is being brought to Heaven completely naked. What an uplifting message.
"Hey kids, it doesn't matter if your parents beat you and you are ignored by the world! Jesus loves you very much! Not enough to make someone else give a shit about you, or make some Christian chick actually do anything meaningful, but Jesus still loves you!" |
Conclusion ⇑ ⇓
| Slick146 |
So, now that that is over, we move on to Dark Dungeons. I am going to do something different this time. I am not going to post it all in pictures to reach the 10 image limit. I am going to do this in groups of maybe four or five. Something along those lines.
So, get ready for....DARK DUNGEONS! And trust me, you'll need this after that depressing fest. |
Further Reading ⇑ ⇓
- Vintage page at SpaceBattles Forums
- Product page at Chick Publications
Other Reviews & Commentaries ⇑ ⇓
- Enter The Jabberwock (Archived Dissection) - https://boolean-union.com/dissections/jabberwock/JABWK.CHICK.SOME.DISCT.html
- Jack Chick's Funnybook Gospel - https://jackchick.wordpress.com/2011/04/05/chick-tract-review-somebody-loves-me/#more-504
Parodies ⇑
- Loved to Death (hosted on weirdcrap.com) - http://www.weirdcrap.com/chick/loved/loved.html
Slick146