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Originally published at SpaceBattles Forums. May 10th, 2011. Dark Dungeons. Tract #061. Art by Fred Carter - © 1984 Chick Publications
Originally published at SpaceBattles Forums
May 10th, 2011
Dark Dungeons - Tract #061 (DARK)
Art by Fred Carter- © 1984 Chick Publications
Debbie thought playing Dungeons and Dragons was fun...until it destroyed her friend.
Introduction ⇑ ⇓
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Well I'll put my money where my mouth is an do a D&D focused review. Note that I'm going off 3rd edition here. I can't vouch for 1st edition giving you powers. |
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By the power of Greyskull! Wait a minute, on page one Debbie was playing a wizard! Now you're saying that she's a cleric? Dammit Jack that changes everything! At 8th level Debbie could have used Neutralize Poison or cast Cure Critical Wounds before Marcie reached -10 HP. You're lucky you didn't have her reach level 9, then she could have cast Raise Dead. There are some serious continuity errors here, unless Debbie thinks she's been playing a wizard this whole time. I also have to add that this story has jumped around a lot. First they were fighting monsters, then Marcie died to a trap all of a sudden, and now game's done. I was interested in seeing what happened after the party lost their rogue. Did they just loot her corpse? Did the real wizard in the group animate her corpse? Come on Jack these are the important issues at stake here! But maybe I'm being a bit overly critical here. After all the game is called Dark Dungeons, not Dungeons and Dragons. Maybe their system works differently. |
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...So Debbie's moved onto LARPing and she's talking about this. Good for her, some people think it's strange, but so long as you're having fun I see no harm in that. Oh, Debbie can actually cast spells now. Again, I'm really disappointed that I can't do this yet. Sure I usually play fighters, but I've played plenty of clerics, wizards, and even a swordsage. If I could bend the laws of physics to my will you'd better believe that I'd jump at the chance. Well okay if I meant an eternity in hellfire I might be a bit more hesitant, but only if I couldn't reach epic level. Then I could just take over hell. Of course this might not be that bad. After all Debbie is a cleric right? At 8th level she do quite a bit. For instance she could cast spells to speak any language, neutralize poison, create food and water, and remove any disease. Yeah, Debbie could probably single handedly solve the AIDS problem in Africa. Well okay, maybe her character level doesn't equate to her player level. But she's still a cleric, which means she could heal people. Obviously this is what she would do. After all if you had magic wouldn't you use it to help your fellow man? |
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Conclusion ⇑ ⇓
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Further Reading ⇑ ⇓
- Vintage page at SpaceBattles Forums
- Product page at Chick Publications
Other Reviews & Commentaries ⇑ ⇓
- Trick Tracts - http://skatoolaki.com/tricktracts/l_darkdungeons.html
- User Slick146 (Space Battles Forum) - https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/lets-read-chick-tracts.525049/page-4#post-34961251
- User FreudianSlip (Space Battles Forum) - https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/freudianslip-dissects-a-chick-tract.190056/page-2?post=5997236#post-5997236
- JonTron - 2014 Film (YouTube Video) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=subQrEPKytA
- The Bible Reloaded (YouTube Video) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJjtU7vxx-Q
- The Bible Reloaded - 2014 Film (YouTube Video) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Qwf91YGfxA
Parodies ⇑
- 3rd Edition: Tool of Satan? - Will it take some controversial changes in the newest edition of the Master's Guide to show these foolish players just how much danger they're in?
"We're just unwinding with a little live-action Call of Cthulhu... want to touch my octopus?"
(foo.ca via The Wayback Machine) - Christians and Crusades - What if it were the Christians themselves who got carried away with fantasy role playing?
"A flick of Hellfire can make anyone a unprincipaled coward!"
(The Bronze Blog) - Dark Dungeons: The Animated Movie (2010) - Computer animated film made by yours truly, covering the plot of the tract... with a few minor embellishments.
"The Lord shall provide! Now who brought the gasoline?"
(Boolean Union Studios) [Video] - Dark Dungeons: The Movie (2014) - A live-action film with impressive production values. Produced with the expressed approval of Chick himself.
"If they want to be a couple of chickens who go their entire lives without experiencing the unrivaled thrill of an RPG, that's their business."
(Zombie Orpheus Entertainment) [Video] - Dark Dungeons: Between the Panels - A mock-u-mentary that posits to catch up with the characters of the tract 25 years after it's publication.
"Oh, and the fumes from the bonfire scene were heinous. All that burning lead, plastic, and ink... I passed out for a little while, and when I woke up, I couldn't remember my own name."
(The Escapist) - Darque Dungeons - The dangers of Dungeons and Dragons extrapolated through a thinly-veiled pastiche of Vampire: The Masquerade as well as Gothic metal music.
"I'll fucking kill anyone who opposes the countercultural assault of noise music WITH MY BARE FUCKING HANDS!"
(foo.ca via The Wayback Machine) - Demonic Deviltry - White Wolf released their tabletop game Demon: The Fallen in 2002, and since that means this old tract was due for a bit of an update, they released their own take on it.
"Do you do that after every game? Not all the time. Sometimes we have sex instead of doing drugs."
(White Wolf via Scribd - .pdf) - Dork Dungeons - If you thought basic D&D was geeky, it gets worse... soooo much worse.
"Sometimes I think about him and, you know, touch myself in the bath... condoms, I'm thinking we'll need a twelve pack."
(Unhelpful.org via The Wayback Machine) - GURPS Fourth Edition - Dark Dungeons - A new gaming paradigm causes dissention in the ranks.
"Afraid I'll steal all the hot guys? I am totally ready. I even started my period."
(GameGroup.org) - Mystery Science Theater Meets Dark Dungeons - What if the crew of the Satellite of Love took a stab at riffing on a Chick tract?
"You know this reminds me so much of High School. Two women conspiring to manipulate the men in their lives? No. The Members Only jacket."
(Fecundity.com)
Harbinger