Hoo boy, this is a doozy. Okay, just to clear things up: I have no bias towards any specific religion. I have met many moderate Muslims as well as Christians, Jews, and even one Mormon! My problem exists only amongst those who use their faith as a shield for bigotry and hatred. So yes, there are far too many radical Muslims in this world. That said… if there ever existed a human being who has absolutely no right to chastise a religion based off of the barbaric practices of certain extremists within a certain ethnic/religious group., it would definitely be our old pal Jack Chick.

Oh boy, a Chick tract on Islam. I don't even have to read it to know there's going to be a lot of "Pot calling the kettle black" here.

Hi everyone, my name is Eric, I'll be a guest commentator today.

Good to have you, Eric. Fresh opinions are always welcome when it comes to analyzing these little nuggets of propaganda.

Ah yes, the sunny suburban paradise of… the middle east? Seriously, where the hell are we supposed to be? Most of the major Middle Eastern nations exist in desert sections of the world, and nothing we see later in this tract seems to imply that this takes place in any nation with a temperate climate. If I had to guess, I’d say Jack has no grasp of international geography.

Yeah, I don't know what Jack imagines when he thinks about the "Holy Land." No wonder those sandy monkeys are blowing each other up. I would too if I lived in a place that's literally hell on earth.

Note that Ahmed here said “Defiled” instead of the more holistic “Ruined”. Clearly an indication of how Islam is a barbaric practice! Subtle.

How did they get from there, to there? And how did that one kid get behind the woman? And why does it look like he's tripping her?

I have a feeling that the next panel is going to be incredibly ironic.

Of course she is inferior to him. Does it not say in the Qu’ran: “1. Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.”? Wait, no it doesn’t. That’s 1 Peter 3:1. Mr. Pot, say hello to Mr. Kettle.

Damn, I could've made money on that bet.

That guy's hand can fit completely around her neck! Either he's a direct descendant of Big Foot or she needs to get some protein in her diet, quick!

Also, does he keep this wife shillelagh handy for circumstances such as this or did he have to go and get it from the closet or something? It appears to have just materialized from hammerspace.

Well they are both pretty non-existent… so yeah, he is like Allah.

You know, I recognize this kid from other Chick tracts. Jack uses the kid from Somebody Loves Me? as a prototype for all his male children characters.

Come on man, be a little original.

Uh… you know I’m pretty sure Muslim’s don’t consult the Qu’ran for every decision. What if he was just asking if he could borrow some money for a new car?

You know that old trick question "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" Totally, doesn't work on this guy. He just does not give a crap.

As opposed to the Bible where you can sell your daughter into slavery gender equality reigns supreme.

Once again, we have found a perfect example of how Jack Chick’s characters are about as consistent as a lava lamp. Not 3 hours ago, this man was eager to beat the tar out of his family for getting his book wet, and now he is having doubts over whether or not this is justified.

One of these days, the people who manufacture these tracts are going to die from irony overdose. I honestly don't see how Jack seriously can not see how hypocritical he's being. Not that I'm condoning wife-beating, just that if you want to point fingers at another person's holy book for sexism when your's pretty much says the exact same thing, you might want to rethink that.

Is there a period in his life when Hassan DID like his father? Did he wait a few years before he started beating on the two of them?

Did we skip like 5 panels? I’m really confused. When did he get back? Where did that letter come from? Who is this Christian he’s talking about?

Isn't proselytizing to Muslims illegal in Iraq(or whatever Islamic country this is in.) and worthy of the death penalty?

How have you glossed over this, Jack? You always want to scream (imaginary) persecution in the U.S, but when actual persecution comes along, you totally ignore your chance to bitch about it.

"Psst! Papa locked the door to the room!"

"He's 'studying'. We're not to disturb him! Didn't you see him take the tissues with him?"

Great, not only do we have an epidemic of talking houses in the chickverse, but now we have to worry about sentient doors too.

I think the door just realized it was in a Chick tract.

Hang on… is that Ayatollah Khomeini looking at the door? Are we supposed to be in Iran? If so, then this comic starts making a whole lot less sense. Why do we have Arabic names and words in a nation that speaks a COMPLETELY UNRELATED LANGUAGE?

So… Ahmed has been studying his Qu’ran for many years, and yet he’s missed this quote every single time? Can’t say that surprises me to much. After all, radical religious types do have a tendency to cherry pick certain passages of their texts and ignore the rest.

*Ahem* Moving on…

As opposed to the Bible, which is crystal clear and leaves no doubt in the mind of those who read it.

This… this right here. This is the kind of moment that makes this job worth it. The moment where not only do we find out that our humble author is wrong about something, but it’s a case where 5 seconds of research can easily prove them wrong.

*Deep Breath* Ssad (ص) and Qaf (ق) are Arabic letters. I have no idea who wrote the book Jack is citing, but I imagine the extent of his research amounted to huffing paint for a few hours and slamming his head onto the keyboard.

And so was every religious book in history. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe it was humans who created God and not the other way around?

Looks like Ahmed is about to be sick. Can't say I blame him.

Oh wow, 23 wives. Refresh my memory again: How many did Solomon have?

Seven hundred wives, three hundred concubines.

So how were Moses, Joshua, and a bunch of other prophets able to do stuff no other Jew/Christian were able to do?

That's actually a pretty creepy stare on Muhammad there.

Slaughter and pillaging are indeed bad. Let’s see what the bible says about it, I believe Numbers 31 is a good chapter for us to reference. (It would be too long to post the whole chapter, and I can’t decide on a passage, so go read it yourself, you might learn something)

I think Jack needs to go back to Sunday School and re-read the Old Testament. Every chapter was pretty much the Israelites either a) killing, raping, and pillaging other nations or  b) being killed, raped, and pillaged by God.

Wow that is immoral! I mean imagine if YHWH did that! Say he was going to condemn every single person to Hell over something their ancestors did, and instead of simply forgiving them like an all powerful being could, he created an obscure method of avoiding damnation that required blind faith and could not be accurately proven to work until after you die! That would just be sadistic!

It sounds a lot like the Judeo-Christian god YHWH.....

There is just so much hypocrisy on this page. I can’t possibly address it all.

Irony is an understatement.

Nope. God never changes... and he never forces. Not unlike a high school boyfriend.

I would say that this first panel is a symbolic image, since Muslims are required to pray towards Mecca, and God is speaking from the opposite direction. But that would imply that Jack has enough artistic expertise to think of something like that.

Because Jeezus told him.

Opposite the picture of Khomeini seems to be a picture of the Kabba. Just 'cuz.

This is a picture of Tehran as it is today. Here’s Mecca, Baghdad and Dubai. Jack Chick’s perception of the Middle East is so antiquated, he might as well depict Americans in powdered wigs.

Just be thankful he didn't depict them with turbans.

I’m amazed she overlooked the part where he said she was weaker.

I'm just going to state the obvious and say that every religion in mankind has said "Love your enemy, bless them that curse you, yada yada yada."

Hell, Confucius even made something called the Silver Rule which is "Do not do unto others as you would not have them do unto you." and he lived four hundred years before Jesus.

Here we go again…

All Jack's doing is picking the parts that support him and ignoring the parts that don't suit him. I've never seen a Chick tract that mentions the rape of the Midianite Women  (Numbers 31), or when the Israelites tell a village to either be their slaves or be slaughtered (Deuteronomy 20:10-14),  or when God had a man sacrifice his daughter(Judges 11:29-40).

That kind has ears open like car doors. We used to have a kid like that in our neighborhood. My dad called him "Wing-nut."

Not too long ago, he was willing to beat his family senseless for the most minor reasons, and now he says he’s turned over a new leaf overnight. Yeah, I’m not buying it.

All Muslims already know the story of Christ dying on the cross, Muhammad refuted it . This guy seems born and bred as a Muslim, how has he never heard of Christ and his supposed sacrifice?

Remember, everyone... if your abuser says they'll never do it again you should immediately forgive and stay with them. Because they REALLY REALLY mean it. What's the worst that could happen?

And thus we come full circle,  where the man who lived his entire life by the doctrine of Islam suddenly just decides to blindly follow the first new religion that falls into his lap.

How much you want to bet next week he'll be a Buddhist?

I swear that kid looks nothing like a Middle Easterner.

His fleece is white as snow, all right. I guess Chick thinks his audience couldn't possibly side with a brown person so he gave him the 'ol whitewash.

Well, I can’t say I was surprised by this one. I was expecting a tasteless, mildly racist or offensive, nonsensical piece of trash, and that’s exactly what this turned out to be. I half expected Ahmed to put on a turban, strap some C-4 to his chest and run around screaming “Allahu Ackbar!” Nonetheless, I really had fun with “Is Allah like you?” It’s another enjoyably bad tract that one can easily poke fun at.

Well thanks for having me. My blog is brahmaloka.wordpress.com, I regularly do Chick Tract Dissections, and Hitler parodies.