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» August 16, 2023
Not Another Religious Tract Dissection by Boolean Union Studios

Kidnapped! (KNPD)
Kidnapped!. Tract #184. Art by Fred Carter - © 2004 Chick Publications

Kidnapped! - Tract #184 (KNPD)
Art by Fred Carter- © 2004 Chick Publications

First Published: July 31st, 2023

Holly tells her friend about Jesus, then is kidnapped. Will her Jesus help her escape?

With guest commentary by members of our Discord!


  David   Matt   Mingnon   Rotpar  








Page Index
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22

o Introduction

MingnonMingnon Hello everyone! I have been following Chick Tract dissections ever since I found the Enter the Jabberwock website in its final years. With the reboot of this site, I have decided to finally get in on it.

As for the tract itself, I was personally drawn to how ridiculous the whole premise was and it seemed to be a chance to cut my teeth.
RotparRotpar It’s a pleasure to be here! Been reading and collecting Chick tracts for quite some time at this point, and have been considering doing my own dissections. Ever since Enter the Jabberwock went down and Boolean Union went dark. Chick’s poison needs to be responded to, so it’s an absolute delight for Boolean Union to be back and willing to give me a chance to contribute to boot.
MattMatt I too have been a fan of Chick Tract mockery for quite some time. I’ve found plenty of sites on the subject, though most of them were abandoned.
DavidDavid Likewise, I’ve been reading Chick dissections on and off since high school – especially on this website. Happy to be here with you all.


o Cover / Page 1

Cover / Page 1
MingnonMingnon Well, it’s succinct. But why take off one of her shoes?
DavidDavid Here is Jack Chick, bringing you the latest in local news scare stories. Especially the kind that had their origins in the 80s.
RotparRotpar Look at those eyes! Little Orphan Annie here has seen some shit. Was she on the Event Horizon before appearing in this tract? Or maybe she witnessed the first ever performance of the Aristocrats?


o Page 2

Page 2
MingnonMingnon Judging from the pictures shown of presumably the victims, this is a case of Missing White Woman Syndrome, as demonstrated in this Onion cartoon.
RotparRotpar Who is this guy? The police commissioner? The coroner? Whoever the balding nerd is, are we sure it’s not his trophy display? “I snatched her–they snatched her Thursday. She’s probably in . . . uh, Mexico by now.”
DavidDavid Speaking of Mexico, Extra Credits did a good video covering this type of talking point. Given this tract's author, I am not surprised by the kind of racism on display.


o Page 3

Page 3
MingnonMingnon Saudi Arabia AS WELL AS Mexico!? Yeesh, way to try and name as many of the ‘bad’ countries as possible in one tract. Though I will also mention that the way the cop talks here sounds kind of hollow.
DavidDavid So long as the target audience is at the right level of racist/xenophobic, it doesn’t matter. Who needs honest discussions about the issues at hand?
RotparRotpar You know who was a Saudi? Osama bin Laden! Case closed, the prosecution rests! . . . fuck me, that actually makes sense by Chick’s “logic”; bin Laden has made multiple cameos in his work.


o Page 4

Page 4
MingnonMingnon Donna looks like she has ventriloquist dummy eyes.
DavidDavid Mrs. Comfort… seriously? I’d ask what Mr. Comfort looks like... oh, wait.
RotparRotpar “We were out playing with Li’l Susy by the old Reactor No. 4, and now I’m glowing just like she did before she fell over and Holly said she went to Heaven, and–”


o Page 5

Page 5
MingnonMingnon ALL kids lie, mostly to try and protect themselves or those they care about. To try and take religion and use it to scare kids into believing in a hypothetical god is the worst kind of psychological blackmail.
DavidDavid Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m 95% sure there’s an episode of Bluey that handles this with more nuance. Even if there isn’t such an episode yet that deals with the consequences of lying as a central theme, most of us would still prefer Bluey as its worst over Jack Chick at his best.
MattMatt “I’ve also murdered and stolen but it’s the lying that really worries me.”
RotparRotpar Notice that Holy Holly wears white and Donna wears black. This is because Donna is the Whore of Babylon and nobody can help her. I mean look at that black void there–Donna looks like some kind of evil ghost or Cenobite about to caress Mrs. Comfort and whisper “No God! Only LIES!” before tearing her apart.


o Page 6

Page 6
DavidDavid Once again, we are in an alternate universe where the average person in the Western world has never heard of Jesus. And everyone looks like a slightly melted wax figure.
MingnonMingnon All you have to do is believe that a guy died just to get you out of being grounded for eternity! It’s that simple! It’s like with South Park and kids who decide that they are now Ungroundable.
MattMatt Need sins stricken from the record, so you can avoid an eternity in the Everlasting Fire? Better Call Jesus!
RotparRotpar Nothing is impossible! Except for unconditional love and forgiveness. God’s powerless there, so better "slaughter something innocent" to amend for those sins He can’t forget. God is Love, after all.


o Page 7

Page 7
MingnonMingnon WOOOOW. He looks like he’s been through a laundry wash. As expected for the money shot shown across all other Tracts. It’s basically a summation of the final part; just accept Jesus’ “love gift” of “precious blood”... and then do a bunch of other things not listed in the fine print. Like what denomination do we need to go to anyway?
RotparRotpar Jesus has some pretty awesome tribal tattoos. Oh, wait, that’s the gallons ofHoly Sinless Blood that Chick is so obsessed with. And why the formless black sweatpants censoring his Holy Sinless Junk, as opposed to something like a loincloth?
DavidDavid Evidently, they didn’t want to give any closeted kids funny ideas.


o Page 8

Page 8
MingnonMingnon “Now Donna’s on her way to heaven.” …Unless she, you know, decides to do anything the fundies don’t like for any reason. Like coming out as gay… Yep, definitely the best religion.
DavidDavid Small detail, but I noticed Chick spelled “Savior” with a “u”. Considering the use of the term “devils” in the first page, I wonder if he wanted to sound like a caricature of a stuffy English gentleman.
RotparRotpar People putting their face in their hands is a very weird fetish that Chick loves to share with us.


o Page 9

Page 9
MingnonMingnon It could just be me, but I would imagine the worst he would get into is something out of Reno 911.
DavidDavid Or better yet, a black family having a barbecue.
RotparRotpar Is it just me or do the seats in his car resemble recliners more than car seats? They look pretty plush for a police car.


o Page 10

Page 10
MingnonMingnon Okay why does it look like the kids are getting ready to jump on the windshield?
MattMatt Old Man: “I’m here for some reason!”
RotparRotpar This is my favorite mission in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas; you run over a bunch of kids flagging you down and get the quest proper from the foul-mouthed old milkman, then you shoot the shit out of this crackhouse.


o Page 11

Page 11
MingnonMingnon Just wait for the surprise twist. It SOUNDS like the husband is the aggressor right now…
MattMatt “Stop it, you animal…” The door cried out futilely. The cop was manhandling it and it was powerless to stop him.
DavidDavid Even in comic form, this is some of the worst acting I’ve ever seen. It’s something a bunch of bored theater kids would stage as a joke.
MattMatt Hey, is that Li'l Suzy in the corner?
RotparRotpar Surprise birthday party with a giant cake and a sexy stripper! “Well hello, Officer! I’m resisting arrest!”


o Page 12

Page 12
MingnonMingnon “It isn’t that far,” said every person in fiction about to become a victim ever.
MattMatt “Let me give you a ride home, unsupervised little girl. No? Well, I’ve done all I can do. After all, I’m just the adult.”
RotparRotpar I guess now is as good a time as any to mock Chick’s style of random emphasis.
DavidDavid Subtlety was a guy who “stole” Jack Chick’s sweetheart back in high school.


o Page 13

Page 13
MingnonMingnon Pigeon n. a dupe; a sucker; someone singled out to be cheated.

Pigeon can also refer to a Stool Pigeon, or someone who works as an informer for the police. Really I would have imagined a criminal ring that duped kids into crime, then used them as scapegoats to send in, with their fates sealed as their fall guys. The fiends…
MattMatt I’m willing to bet in another tract, this guy would be a homosexual. Put him in something like Doom Town and he’d fit right in.
DavidDavid Whereas in reality, he would be a church pastor.


o Page 14

Page 14
MingnonMingnon Wait, did Jack forget to keep his domestic dispute side plot straight? The kids said that the husband was attacking the wife, but now it’s the other way around? How’d it all switch!?
DavidDavid Maybe it’s my naive view of the world, but where is his backup? Doesn’t he have a partner in the squadcar? Or did Jack Chick decide not to draw more people? Spoiler alert: it’s answer #3, but I bet you already knew that.
RotparRotpar @!!!**! Chick’s profanity is always fun.

So yeah, the officers’ shock and horror from before is seeing that she’s beating him. It should be him beating her; that’s the normal way of things in Chick’s flavor of Christianity, as shown by research.


o Page 15

Page 15
MingnonMingnon Good Christians always have a happy home life and are NEVER more likely to abuse their partner or any other family members. Nope, not at all, especially in the US and particularly fundamentalist/evangelical denominations.
RotparRotpar That’s the usual, unfair attack on television after all. Or is there a hidden Commandment such as “Thou Shall Not Watch Television” that I missed?
DavidDavid If I had to guess: it’s less about the big screen TV, and more about Jack Chick’s preferred type of programming.


o Page 16

Page 16
MingnonMingnon Okay, the first mistake is giving the fake cat a name like Bubbles (unless for some reason the cat is named after one of the Powerpuff Girls. The second is claiming that there are kittens in the trunk, the hottest part of the car. Plus everyone knows you should specify that the AC is on and they’re listening to their favorite music.
DavidDavid Look at the dark splotches she has instead of eyes… the bushes are drawn with more detail.
RotparRotpar So nobody has ever told Holly to be careful around strangers? Or was a guardian angel supposed to protect her? Maybe the angel that was assigned to protect her got an urgent call to intervene in making sure Cathy got to preach to Charles Bishop.


o Page 17

Page 17
MingnonMingnon This is why we need better education, especially for kids.
MattMatt “I lied!” Yeah, no shit.
DavidDavid And apparently, nobody heard the struggle or the hard slamming of the trunk. I get that it’s an old town road, but it's still a contrivance.
RotparRotpar Chick’s criminals love to yell about the crimes they’re committing; see also the drive-by shooter from “It’s a Deal” who yells “Gotcha!”.


o Page 18

Page 18
MingnonMingnon You’re going to need a couples’ counselor or a very good church to avoid that mess again.
DavidDavid It’s a small dream, but I want to see a version of this with actual legal consequences. Oh, who am I kidding? Even if one of them kills the other, Chick would probably blame it on "gay cartoons" to corrupt and indoctrinate the youth as part of spreading Satanism. Or a supposed "gay agenda" lurking in media considered liberal by fundamentalists.
RotparRotpar Thanks Officer. Don’t do your @!!!**! job and just trust their word that they won’t beat each other again. Because they promised to go to church.


o Page 19

Page 19
DavidDavid As if anyone involved in sex trafficking gave the remotest of a damn about what their victims think. And in a way not too dissimilar to how Jack Chick’s target audience views the outside world.
MingnonMingnon How long was Shirley Tem– I mean Holly trapped in there so that she would hear Jesus talking to her? Well it wouldn’t be unusual in these tracts for divine intervention to happen, but this could also be attributed to heat stroke.
RotparRotpar This is just glorious. Actual divine intervention, real guidance from on-high, her prayers literally answered! That said, either she’s too naive to think for herself and to try yelling at him or Jesus (according to Chick) does not care about (presumably) non-Chick-Christian girls. Both possibilities are simply delightful.


o Page 20

Page 20
MingnonMingnon And that was the perfect time to drive over an arbitrary curve in the double yellow line. All according to plan.
DavidDavid In a more realistic scenario for pulling this guy over, the officer would probably expect a potential DUI. Then again, I’m giving this comic more credit than it deserves.
RotparRotpar No, He won’t, Holly. After all, disbelief is the only sin that matters according to Chick.


o Page 21

Page 21
MingnonMingnon So Holly just has to wait for specific instructions from Jesus, rather than… I don’t know, have parents train her with survival skills?
DavidDavid No wonder there’s a literal deus ex machina. There is literally a stage light shining down on her!
MattMatt So this is why Jesus hasn’t come back yet. He’s too busy telling Holly what to do day in and day out.
RotparRotpar She needed Jesus to intervene because she is that naive to not realise the car has stopped and can hear actual voices who might be able to help. I love it.


o Page 22

Page 22
MingnonMingnon Just one devil. There’s a greater syndicate out there going as far as, let me remind you, Saudi Arabia. But okay, you can have your victory.
MattMatt He hasn’t let you catch the devils in charge of the child trafficking ring or save all the other kids who’ve been kidnapped, now has He? Don’t be satisfied with God half-assing it, have Him make you be that one-man army who catches all of them!
DavidDavid That plot thread only existed in this tract to attract the xenophobic Walmart shopper demographic. Otherwise known as “Jack Chick’s target audience”.
RotparRotpar Why wimp out and physically save her, Jack? Isn’t she better off if she’s kidnapped and murdered like Mandy from “The Poor Little Witch”, so she can be with Jesus in Heaven right now? “Somebody Loves Me” had a “happy ending” of the abused kid dying and finding Jesus at the literal last minute.


o Conclusion

MingnonMingnon Well that was a decent first run. It’s a straightforward story about two random people coming together in a time of need with Jesus to bring them together. I’m iffy about the lecturing though, but then again there’s lecturing in a lot of tracts.

I hope everyone has a good time, and maybe I’ll be joining in for another riff in the future.
DavidDavid If you told me Jack Chick and company got all their ideas about how people act from watching daytime soap operas, I would believe you. Complete with unnatural dialogue and lurid storylines with no connection to reality, filtered through a disturbing and reactionary worldview. Then again, it’s not too hard to express bad acting in comic book form.
MattMatt I’ve read plenty of Chick’s material and this is far from his worst. I should note that our black cop protagonist was fairly recurring, though not to the degree of others. Perhaps we will see him again, standing in for Chick or Carter down the line.
RotparRotpar It was fun and wonderfully stupid and . . . a little depressing that people actually buy into Chick’s dogshit. In seriousness though; kids need to be taught caution around strangers and what to do in an emergency. My sister and I were always told to scream and fight if somebody grabbed us, we had a password if anyone claimed to know our parents and we knew where to meet at any given time if separated.
DavidDavid Speaking of serious discussions...

Leaving aside the odd inclusion of the throwaway domestic disturbance sub-plot, the main issue with this tract is how human trafficking is depicted. The story clearly takes place in the United States. And while there are tragically thousands of victims yearly, the scenario the comic presents is virtually non-existent there. In the US at least, most victims fall into two categories: runaways and undocumented immigrants. Stranger abductions are so rare (consistently around 300 per year), that being struck by lightning is a greater risk. This paranoid fearmongering version of human trafficking just leads into needless hysteria and the reluctance of parents to let children lead independent lives and not taught caution around strangers. It has had a corrosive effect on society, and diverts needed attention away from the real causes of trafficking.


o Further Reading


o Other Reviews & Commentaries