Not Another Religious Tract Dissection by Boolean Union Studios


Today's Candidate:


The Truth for Youth - Tim Todd

Case Dismissed

The Truth for Youth
© Revival Fires International - 2002



Intro: The final installment in the Truth for Youth series takes a slightly more personal approach. Case Dismissed is the "biographical" personal story of Tim Todd himself. While there is no real way to know for sure it would seem extraordinarily likely that Tim... how do you say... embellished the facts just a tad. The overall goal seems to be to show what a "rebel" he was in his more intemperate youth so he can, like, totally tell how the kids are these days. What with their hip-hop and the "M"-TV and playing their pokey-mans! Instead he comes off like some lame ass camp counselor who wants to be your buddy but just can't seem to manage it since he graduated from college the year you were born.



Panel Index
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18
19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | Conclusion



Panel 1
Jessica: There's a weird deja vu going on here. For a minute I thought we were back in Bibles Not Bullets.

 

Sean:

That kid on the lower left is channeling the spirit of Shoop-da-Woop.

Uh... Tim? You're supposed to use speedlines during a fast action scene. Right now your character is being restrained, so the action is pretty much over.

 

Tim:

Oooo! I love Dragonball Z! Wait--This isn’t a Shonen Jump book?

“He’s a preacher’s kid too! Some preacher he’d make!”

Uh, just because Tim is a PK doesn’t mean he will grow up to be a preacher. As a matter of fact more often than not, it’s the opposite for PK’s.

Notice Tim Todd had to make it clear that little Tim Todd was fighting for the honor of a woman. “Even in his rebellion, he is an honorable young man!”.

 

   
   
   

Panel 2 Sean:

Who's he talking to? He's clearly not in the Principal's office any more. Apparently it took him that long to think of a response.

 

Tim:

He only got a three-day suspension for bashing some guy’s nose in? And speaking of noses, where is Tim Todd’s nose?

And why would the principal give him three days of suspension before the last day of school.  No thought was put into writing this, was there?

 

 

 

   
   
   

Panel 3 Sean:

Wow, look at all the pink shapes, I thought you needed to actually start taking drugs before you hallucinate.

 

 

 

 

 

   
   
   

Panel 4 Jessica:

My understanding is that one's first hit from a joint without ever having smoked before is a bit like sucking on the exhaust hose of a diesel truck. It would be another 10 minutes before Tim could even breathe again.

Is that Stats in the background declaring him to be cool?

 

Sean:

Well we did see him smoke a cigarette earlier, so I think his lungs might be used to it.


Suddenly he's cool after taking a hit... because, you know, that's totally how High School social standards work. All it takes is a little weed, and you're Fonzie.

 

Jessica:

Tell me about it.

What "problems" does this guy have? I mean, he's a total prick but it's not like he doesn't have some measure of control over that.

 

Tim:

“Hey Everybody, he’s cool!” Are they saying he’s “cool” as in, He isn’t a narc because he used drugs or he’s cool because he smokes weed? Either way, it’s wack dialogue lifted from either a B.S. cop show or a B.S. After School Special.

 

   
   
   

Panel 5

Jessica:

Oh. That explains it. He's dad's a televangelist. In that case, I guess he could have done worse.

 

Sean:

I don't think you need to hide it that much Tim. I'd imagine about half the people inside are either drunk or stoned, it's the only way they can stand to sit through it. Come on, look at the guy in front of you, he's clearly baked out of his mind.

 

Jessica:

He seems to be sitting in that pew sweating bullets and desperately thinking to himself "Am I falling out of this seat? Did I leave the oven on? I think I can feel the universe expanding! Oh, God! Everyone can hear my thoughts!!! They're ALL STARING AT ME!!! GET THE BUGS OFF, FOR THE LOVE OF JEEBUS!!!"

 

Tim:

He’s contradicting himself. Tim Todd is trying to portray his younger self as a rebel. He says he didn’t care what his “drug use did to his dad’s rep or how it hurt the family”. Yet, he takes the time to camouflage his drug use in front of his family and go to church, even though he clearly didn’t want to. For what? I thought you were a rebel, man.

 

   
   
   

Panel 6 Jessica:

Uh-huh. Yeah. Marijuana leads to harder drugs. Are we still beating that old, dead "gateway drug" horse? I thought that went out with D.A.R.E.

 

Sean:

What's Tim doing in the bottom left panel? It looks like he's snorting, but he's not holding anything, and I'm pretty sure you need a flat surface for cocaine anyway.

 

Jessica:

"Are you digging this AIR, man? This air is awesome!"

Tim's dad seems a little (pardon the phrase) mongoloid from this angle.

Also, it kind of looks like his wife is getting married in a pant suit. That's so romantic.

 

Tim:

She’s a female and the city’s “top” drug dealer? So we get to see some “Lady Scarface” action! Bring it on, comic book.

 

   
   
   

Panel 7 Sean:

Again with the invisible cocaine... is it really that hard to draw a tray with white powder on it?

 

Jessica:

"WWWhat's happening to me?! I appear to be dropping a load in my pants!" Or maybe he's trying to pull off the Wayne's World Bohemian Rhapsody thing?

 

Tim:

You were snorting cocaine for 3 days and it had adverse effects on your body? Who would’ve thunk it?

 

   
   

Panel 8 Sean:

LIVE DAMN YOU!! LIVE!!! (I couldn't resist)

 

Tim:

“Her horror couldn’t compare with mine…”

Maybe that is because you were dying and she wasn’t? And she is going to attempt to kill you a little later in the comic, so no, I don’t think she’s as horrified as you.

 

 

 

   
   
   

Panel 9 Jessica:

...and poor Tim is dragged off to Hell kicking and screaming by the cavity creeps.

 

Sean:

Well, give Todd some credit, at least these demons aren't chubby.

 

Jessica:

Judging by the looks on their faces I think they might have chubbies, though.

 

   
   
   

Panel 10 Sean:

Oh joy... more of that "We know that both God and Hell exist, but we still choose a life of sin" bullcrap.

 

Jessica:

I may be jumping to conclusions, but I don't think his wife is very trustworthy, you know?

 

Tim:

You’d think being almost dragged to hell would kind of convince a person to change his evil ways….

Your wife was easily convinced into killing you by her EX-husband and the person who was stealing from her? Yeah, that story totally makes sense.

 

   
   
   
   

Panel 11 Sean:

Scott was behind it!?? I totally did not see that coming!! Mostly because he's never been mentioned before.

 

Tim:

Tim—and no I am not talking to myself, I am talking to that asshat

◄ over there.  Tim, I understand that this is a comic book for kids and you can’t get into every detail of the convoluted mess that was your life. However, don’t tell half of a mess of a story. Either introduce Scott’s character earlier in the story or skip him giving details about him.

 

 

 

   
   
   
 

 


Panel 12 Sean:

So now the brick entrances of this universe are invisible too? Does Mr. Todd ever bother to draw any props?

 

Jessica:

The slammer? That's an awkward turn of phrase.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   
   
   

Panel 13 Jessica:

Apparently the officer was more interested in hitting on the night nurse than keeping an eye on his prisoner. Sheesh.

And that's it? They don't issue a warrant or question his associates or come looking for him? He sneaks out of a hospital and the cops are just like "Meh, I guess he learned his lesson. Im getting some coffee."

 

Sean:

Don't forget the Hospital security, apparently they all decided to go on break at once.

 

Jessica:

Timmy, the bitch tried to kill you. That's well above burning the meatloaf and cheating with your best friend on the "Oh, Shit"-O-Meter. Drop the hussy like she's hot.

 

Sean:

Dude... she's not the only cocaine dealer around, just dump her ass and find a new source. Hell, if you've really been in the business as long as you claim I'm sure you have your own connections.

 

   
   

Panel 14 Jessica:

Once again, don't buy drugs from (or marry) people who want you dead. It's not a good idea.

 

Sean:

Sure she tried to kill me, but I'm sure she's very sorry about it and just has $10,000 burning a hole in her pocket. Nope! Nothing sinister about this at all!

 

Jessica:

See, things like that happen. Moron.

 

Sean:

Wow! The artist actually remembered to draw in the cocaine this time!

 

Tim:

She is the top drug supplier? And she fell for this shit? She just go demoted from ‘Scarface’ to the woman in ‘Weeds’.

 

   

Panel 15 Sean:

"Huh... they're snorting white powder off a mirror, and one of them is pointing a gun at another's head. I think I'll just walk up to the wide open screen door and ask if everything's okay. No need to call the police, I'm sure everything's alright."

 

Jessica:

Must be one of those gated communities.

 

Tim:

Tim Todd was this close to getting taken out, and this comic never being made. Darn nosey neighbor.

 

   
   

Panel 16 Jessica:

He swiped a guitar. Good call there. I am sure that will cover the 10 G's you owe your supplier for the missing coke.

Someone is going to repossess this guy's thumbs.

 

Sean:

Wait... they're being shot at? I thought he said they were armed. Here's an idea: take the guns! They're probably worth more than half of the stuff you're carrying.

 

Tim:

Wait, the “top drug dealer” in Tulsa is brought down to stealing guitars and amps from people’s homes? She just got demoted from the lady in “Weeds” to Chris Rock’s character, Pookie in “New Jack City”.

 

   
   
   
   

Panel 17 Sean:

You saw the moving van, waved goodbye to them, and only now it dawns on you that they're not coming back. Captain lightning wit strikes again.

 

Jessica:

She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer! What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?!?

Tim:

“How did it come to this? It all started with little things that seemed harmless”. Yeah…snorting cocaine for three days straight and stealing from drug dealers…harmless.

 

   
   
   

Panel 18 Sean:

Great, now Todd is trying to imply that Alcohol is evil. Marijuana may not be as harmful as people tend to imply, but at least I get why it's a common target for these guys. But Alcohol? You know Jesus didn't turn water into Kool-Aid right?

 

Jessica:

I'm sure that miracle involved non-alcoholic grape juice... like they serve during most communions nationwide!

 

Tim:

Who thinks to themselves “I was having illicit sex”? And you were married to your sex partner! How is that “illicit”?

 

   
   

Panel 19 Jessica:

Just out of the blue in a bar? His buddy whips out "Let's go to church?" That's really odd.

 

Sean:

"Let's go to church! They throw the best Keggers!"

 

 

 

   
   
   

Panel 20 Jessica:

Tim, they're faking. They want you to join so you'll start tithing. That's how this racket works. Growing up in the church with a preacher for a dad should have tipped you off to that one.

 

Sean:

No, I'm pretty sure they are faking Tim. Just look at that guy in the green suit that gave you the pamphlet. He has that "Used car salesman" look.

 

Jessica:

I still find it impossible to believe those people that close their eyes, raise their arms and sway during church songs aren't "putting on an act."

 

   
   
   

Panel 21 Sean:

You're just throwing away one addiction for another Timmy.

 

Jessica:

Like Alcoholics Anonymous... ninety meetings in ninety days.

Jesus wants an intimate relationship with you... but will he call you in the morning?

 

 

 

   
   
   

Panel 22 Jessica:

I think that at your trial with your estranged wife is probably one of THE worst places to proselytize. I'm just saying.

 

Sean:

"Hey honey, I know we're about to go on trial, and may be facing jail time, but have you ever heard that Jesus died for your sins?"  

 

Jessica:

God murdered the complaintants. Now that's the power of prayer!

 

   
   

Panel 23 Jessica:

"Tim, this is what I have done for you." In payment I shall now set your head on fire.

 

Sean:

Hang on, I just realized that no one has ever called his wife by her name. Hell, even her brother just calls her "Tim's wife"!

 

Jessica:

She has no identity outside of her relationship with Tim here. That's the definition of a two dimensional character.

God put out a hit on his ex, too? No wonder Tim is so popular. If you cross him he'll get his Guido/Jesus to whack your ass.

 

   
   
   

Panel 24 Jessica:

I was stunned... and by the looks of it slightly aroused as well.

 

Sean:

Another misuse of speedlines.

 

   
   
   
   

Panel 25 Jessica:

Gah! What the hell happened to his face?

 

Sean:

Yeah, that blonde kid in the rest of the comic? That was totally me, scout's honor.

 

Jessica:

I'm amazed he had the restraint to not draw him ripped all to hell Fred Carter style and with a 12 inch penis.

 

   
   
   

Panel 26 Jessica:

Seig Heil! Seig Heil! Seig Heil!

Sorry for the Godwin. Couldn't resist.

 

Sean:

"Are you hurting because your parents split up? Someone hurt you as a child? Someone you care about has died?" You know, if God exists, then he's the one who let those things happen. Think about that for a moment.

 

Jessica:

"Where are your friend leading you? Heaven? Hell?"

Well I don't know about you, but mine are leading me to Taco Bell.

 

   
   
   

Panel 27 Jessica:

Holy shit. The audience came loaded for bear. I guess they knew they were going to be sitting through a Tim Todd seminar and figured they'd need a little nip 'o courage to help make it through.

 

Sean:

How much do you want to bet that Tim has a more, shall we say, sinister motivation for confiscating their drugs and alcohol?

 

Jessica:

He is going to get friggin' blitzed tonight!

 

Tim:

You know an addictive personality like his can’t be in a room with all of those mood enhancers and not take a sip or puff.

 

   
   

Conclusion
Sean:

Tim Todd is definitely not as crazy as Jack Chick, and his comics really suffer for it. The art is better, no question about that. But his story is just so plain vanilla in terms of salvation tales. It needed some Satanists, evil D&D players, or demonic Rock music. Still, I had fun with this one. Oh, and Tim? Pics or it didn't happen.

 

Tim:

I like the black guy who drew all of Jack Chick takes all the credit for better than the artist here. Call me old school. But at least by acknowledging

 

   
   
   

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Last Modified: December 22, 2013

 

 

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